Thursday, November 13, 2008

Shouldn't You Be Home Packing?

Hey, guess what we just found out. George Bush is still president! Really. Is he like, refusing to move or something? Chained to the bed in the Lincoln bedroom? He does know Obama is the new president and not a butler doesn't he?

On the bright side though, it does make writing this blog easier to do and does not require sobriety to do it. Let's listen in to his latest speecification.

U.S. President George W. Bush offered a vigorous defense of the free market system. "Well, except for that whole wrecking the American economy and maybe driving a global recession thing," he added. "But hey, omelet, eggs, know what I'm saying?"

Bush goes to Wall Street to outline his agenda for that summit which will kick off reforming the global financial regulatory system. "While reforms in the financial sector are essential, the long-term solution to today's problems is my retirement," Bush said. "And the surest path to that is someone giving me cab fare to the airport."

Several people were hurt in the rush to the stage before the president could make clear he was just kidding.

"Government intervention is not a cure-all," Bush said after paramedics treated the injured. "I intervened after Katrina. I intervened in Iraq. Do I have to say more?"

The speech is Bush's attempt to pretend he understands the reason for the high-level gathering he's hosting in Washington this weekend. To give himself something to do after the movers take down his train set, Bush is convening representatives of some of the world's biggest industrial democracies, emerging nations and international bodies in Washington. "That new fella Baroque says we have to bring in the brainiacs," the president said. "And I figure I'm outta here in a few weeks so what the heck."

He will host the leaders at a White House dinner Friday and review causes and solutions for the financial mess Saturday. "It will be a pretty short meeting," said one White House aide on condition of anonymity. "Cause: Bush administration. Solution: January 20, 2009."

His main message to the leaders: Reforming financial markets alone won't help if they abandon the free market and restrict trade. "The crisis was not a failure of the free market system," Bush was to say. "And the answer is not to try to reinvent that system. I mean, come on. The system worked before I got here. Wait, that didn't come out right."


Anonymous said...

The "supercapitalists" , like Cheney, Rove, Bush, etc., not to mention McCain, still can't figure out why people are "mad" at them.
Helping your daughters sell books , either concerned or not, about American and global interests (gays, HIV, whatever) is something they consider "contributions to the needy", particularly if the needy happen to be them.
What is it about the Bushes and BBQ's that are the biggest turn-off since mankind? If you listen to your heart, it probably spells "Texas", beef and the good old boys. Why else did Bush buy more than 100,000 acres of land in Paraguay? And why else does he push for Columbia? You can be certain it's not to make the poor more wealthy. And you can be certain that their daughters hold the same views as most Republicans. That is: never, ever share the wealth even if the poor made you what you are. And, if you can keep the people stupid, powerless and frightened, there isn't any better way to be.

Anonymous said...

Is there any world leader in any industrialized nation that respects this guy?
What humiliation for the USA. And what absolute B.S. when we took Europe down with us.
The "man" is senseless, immoral and a cheat and whatever religion he pretends to belong to, put him and Palin on "his train" to "Neverland".
His Texas farm, and Paraguay grab isn't isolated or far away enough to keep us safe.