On the bright side though, it does make writing this blog easier to do and does not require sobriety to do it. Let's listen in to his latest speecification.
U.S. President George W. Bush offered a vigorous defense of the free market system. "Well, except for that whole wrecking the American economy and maybe driving a global recession thing," he added. "But hey, omelet, eggs, know what I'm saying?"
Bush goes to Wall Street to outline his agenda for that summit which will kick off reforming the global financial regulatory system. "While reforms in the financial sector are essential, the long-term solution to today's problems is my retirement," Bush said. "And the surest path to that is someone giving me cab fare to the airport."
Several people were hurt in the rush to the stage before the president could make clear he was just kidding.
"Government intervention is not a cure-all," Bush said after paramedics treated the injured. "I intervened after Katrina. I intervened in Iraq. Do I have to say more?"
The speech is Bush's attempt to pretend he understands the reason for the high-level gathering he's hosting in Washington this weekend. To give himself something to do after the movers take down his train set, Bush is convening representatives of some of the world's biggest industrial democracies, emerging nations and international bodies in Washington. "That new fella Baroque says we have to bring in the brainiacs," the president said. "And I figure I'm outta here in a few weeks so what the heck."
He will host the leaders at a White House dinner Friday and review causes and solutions for the financial mess Saturday. "It will be a pretty short meeting," said one White House aide on condition of anonymity. "Cause: Bush administration. Solution: January 20, 2009."
His main message to the leaders: Reforming financial markets alone won't help if they abandon the free market and restrict trade. "The crisis was not a failure of the free market system," Bush was to say. "And the answer is not to try to reinvent that system. I mean, come on. The system worked before I got here. Wait, that didn't come out right."
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