Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I'll Gladly Pay You On Tuesday For A Bailout Today

You remember that time back in college when you lent your roommate 20 bucks because he promised to pay you back by Friday? Twenty bucks which you didn't have, by the way, because even though you thought you could get through Social Psych without buying the textbook, after that first exam you were thinking maybe the plan might have to be revised. Then on Friday he gave you some lame excuse about not having the money for "a couple more days" but that night you saw him at the bar and he was buying drinks for this little hottie he was trying to make it with? Yeah. Us too. That's why we're a little ticked at this.

As part of its federal life preserver, AIG, the insurance behemoth, will continue to spend hundreds of millions of dollars to put their corporate logos on sports stadiums and events. "We have to do it so we can keep our executive skyboxes," said a spokesperson. "It's...um...er...for meetings."

AIG is paying $125 million so the Manchester United soccer club will wear the AIG logo on their uniforms. An AIG spokesman said that the Man U sponsorship won't be abandoned but that the company is "reviewing all sponsorships to identify any relationship that might be essential, to maintain the value of the business and service customers. We're thinking about cutting back in non-essential areas, like payments on claims," the spokesman said.

"A friend of mine joked they should put 'US Treasury' on the front of their uniforms," said Steve Ellis of Taxpayers for Common Sense.

"We weren't kidding," responded a Treasury spokesperson.

At the daily briefing, White House spokesman Tony Fratto said, "I mean, firms do that as a marketing item, and certainly marketing is important for any business," he said. "This is what allows them to attract new customers who will then get lousy service because they're spending all their money on sports paraphernalia. It's just good business, you know?"

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