Hey George Bush. Now That You've Wrecked America, What Are You Going To Do Next?

Hey, president Bush is out of the country. Now's the time to change all the locks.

Demonizing Iran, threatening Mideast peace and giving lip service to democracy in the region topped the agenda for President Bush during talks with the country that was home to most of the 9/11 terrorists, Saudi Arabia. Bush's first visit to the kingdom came as his administration notified Congress of its intent to sell $20 billion in weapons, including precision-guided bombs, to the Saudis.

Yes sir, because nothing says we want peace like precision guided bombs.

It is "a pretty big package, lots of pieces," national security adviser Stephen Hadley told reporters on Air Force One. "You got your introduce more weapons into an already tense situation piece, your give those weapons to folks who don't like us much anyway piece, your inflame tensions piece, oh and best of all, your clueless president piece."

The sale is an important part of the U.S. strategy to bolster the defenses of its Arab allies in Saudi Arabia and other oil-producing majority Sunni Muslim Gulf nations against threats from Shiite Iran. "I hasten to add to our friends in Iraq that taking sides with the Sunnis over the Shi'a in no way means we are taking the side of the Sunnis over the Shi'a," Hadley said.

Bush also has promoted democratic principles during his trip. "I've pretty much wrecked our democracy," Bush told the assembled dignitaries, "So now it's up to you folks here in all these kingdoms and Emirates and countries ruled by families to keep democracy alive. Hey, can women drive cars here yet? That could be a start."

The president grinned and tapped his foot out of time as a group of girls stepped rhythmically to Arabic music, their long hair swinging from shoulder to shoulder. The light rain that fell during Bush's arrival did not dampen the mood, as rain is considered here to be good luck during the visit of a foreign leader. "So rain is good luck?" the president asked King Abdullah. "Wait until I get home and tell the people in New Orleans how lucky they've been these last couple of years."

Bush then had lunch with students of the Dubai School of Government, a research and teaching institution that focuses on public policy in the Arab world. The president and his hosts sat on cushions, set in a circle, their food in bowls on the carpeted floor before them. "I used to eat on the floor in college too," the president told the students. "But that was mostly because I was too drunk to stand up."

"I'm most impressed with what I've seen here. The entrepreneurial spirit is strong, and equally importantly, the desire to make sure all aspects of society have hope and encouragement hardly exists at all," Bush later told a gathering of entrepreneurs and others affiliated with a young leaders' group.

"I also want you to understand something about America — that we respect you. Don't listen to what our leaders say. We respect your fake religion and we want to work together for the sake of oil and trade," Bush told the group.

Dubai has a powerful Iranian business community, and the West, led by the United States, is cracking down on business in and out of Iran. Dubai is caught in the middle — eager to maintain its lucrative business with Iran, but wary of angering the United States and the United Nations. So naturally Bush used a speech in Dubai to criticize Iran, branding it "the world's leading state-sponsor of terror."

"The president is focusing on diplomacy as his term comes to an end," Hadley told reporters.