There Will Be Sacrifices. We May Have To Outlaw Ethnic Foods As Well

Monday we told you about a Mr. John Dunkle whose attempt to bring rationality and comity to the abortion debate through the use of Winchester products was quashed by one of those activist judges. Seems the little pinko's idea of discussion has to do with actual words. Obviously not a John Wayne fan.

Well, to prove you can't keep a good idea down, along comes Tom Tancredo, candidate for president from the Insane Clown Party. In order to further the national discussion on who is best qualified to lead this country out of the current fever swamp we've been wading though for the last seven years, Mr. Tancredo reminds us that if we don't vote for him a brown person will blow up the GAP.

A man in a hooded sweat shirt, a backpack, a crowded mall. The television screen goes dark at the sound of an explosion. Tom Tancredo, the presidential candidate running on a bug eyed, spittle flecked, stumble screaming into the night message, is airing this scene in a television ad. "I made this ad because I believe Americans can never be too frightened." Tancredo told reporters. "Plus it helps me avoid having to talk about stuff like health care and the economy and stuff nobody cares about."

"There are consequences to open borders beyond the 20 million aliens who have come to take our jobs in the lawn care, housekeeping and cab driving industries," a narrator in the spot says. "Islamic terrorists now freely roam U.S. soil, just like blacks and women."

"I have a limited budget so I have to try and cover all my bases in one ad," Tancredo said.

Tancredo, a congressman who has long advocated tight limits on people who aren't lucky enough to be born white, barely registers in public opinion polls. "We just need one GAP to go up and we're right up there with the big boys," said an aide to the congressman. "Heck, even a Crate and Barrel will do. Anything. "

"I approve this message because someone needs to say it," Tancredo says at the beginning of the ad. "And when it gets right down to it, none of the other candidates can put on the crazy like I can."

Well, at least he has one position with which we can agree.