Freedom's On The March, But She Better Keep Her Head Down

Oh yeah! In your face Osama! Our president right there in your old country. What do you think of us now mountain boy?

president Bush, on an unannounced visit to Afghanistan vowed to stand by this emerging democracy and "not cut and run" in the face of failure. He also predicted Osama bin Laden would be captured despite a futile five-year hunt. "We're gonna git that feller I never think about," the president proclaimed. "It's job one. Right after democracy in the middle east. And peace for Israel. Oh, and the port deal. That's important too."

When asked why the visit had been unannounced, White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan, who declined to accompany the president on the trip, said, "Are you kidding? That place is a death trap. I mean, we're winning."

Bush's entourage flew into the city from Bagram in a flock of heavily armed helicopters. Two door gunners on a press helicopter fired off a short burst of machine gun fire at unknown targets as the aircraft flew low and fast over barren, rugged countryside. "We don't come off base too much," one gunner said. "Too dangerous."

Bush expressed solidarity with Karzai's U.S.-backed government. You're doing a real good job running the country," he said to President Karzi. "At least that part of the country that pays any attention to you." Later Bush amended his comments to "President Karzi's doing a real good job as Mayor of Kabul."

Bush held a working lunch with Karzai and other Afghan leaders, then attended a ribbon-cutting ceremony at the U.S. embassy in Kabul. "Let's hope they don't blow this up before I get out of here," Bush told reporters. He then punched President Karzi playfully on the shoulder and said, "That's a joke Hamid. Come on lighten up. Who wants to ride some bicycles?"

In the meantime the director of the Defense Intelligence Agency, Lt. Gen. Michael D. Maples, told a congressional hearing in Washington that the insurgency was still growing and posed a greater threat to Karzai's government "than at any point since late 2001."

"And that shows why we're winning," explained McClellan. "Wait. What'd he say?"

Before leaving Afghanistan, Bush rallied U.S. troops at the air base. Speaking to about 500 soldiers ordered into in a huge recreational tent, Bush expressed resolve at the U.S. mission here. "You're doing a heckava job, troopies," the president said.

"I assure you this government of yours will not blink, we will not yield as long as there's a drop of blood left in your body. ...The United States is not cut and run," Bush said.

Several soldiers were heard to shout, "Go ahead. Cut and run. We're fine with that."

Bush later flew to New Delhi, India, where tens of thousands of Indians demonstrated against his visit. "It's a brown country," McClellan said. "What are you gonna do?"