OK, Just Sign Here, And Here. Now Take Off Your Clothes

You know you're in trouble when you're the subject of a newspaper article that begins like this:

Until he was arrested this year in his underwear in a motel room with a nearly naked young woman who was behind in her payments to his finance company, no businessman in this town was more respected than Richard Dasen.

Talk about creative financing.

Dasen was an energetic force in the construction of a new hospital, a ski resort and a large hotel. He served as a church elder, helped teenagers finish high school and volunteered his time to Christian Financial Counseling, which helped people manage debts. Many of the women Dasen allegedly paid for sex met him for the first time when they came for help in consolidating and managing their debts.

Oh we're managing your debt baby! Who's your debt manager! Who's your debt manager now!

If Dasen was not satisfied with the sexual services that he was receiving, it was common for him to arrange for repossession of vehicles that he has purchased or funded for those females.

Come on. Is it his fault if the...er...clients don't read the fine print?

Asked by police how many women were involved, Dasen said there had been too many to count. He also apparently lost count, police say, of how much money he paid these women. Investigators counting his checks, in amounts between $1,000 and $6,000 per encounter, sometimes as much as $130,000 a month — now estimate that Dasen spent at least $5 million.

He paid by check?

Women used the money Dasen paid them to pay for their habits. "He pretty much single-handedly funded the methamphetamine trade for a number of years," Charles Harball, the city attorney said.

Hey, there's more to helping the local economy than hospitals, ski resorts and hotels, you know?

News of Dasen's arrest astonished many business associates, political acquaintances and fellow church members. "He was incredibly benevolent," said Denise Cofer, a local activist in the Christian Coalition and a candidate in the fall election for county commissioner. She said Dasen was a supporter of conservative Christian causes.

Yeah. He regularly prayed with the Hooters girls and often offered to "fellowship" the dancers down at the Golden Cadillac Gentlemen's Club.

"Dick's dark side was done with extreme discretion," said Dean Jellison, a retired lawyer who has known Dasen for nearly 35 years. "Well, except for paying for nookie with a check, always going to the same motels and introducing himself as 'Dick Dasen, Horn Dog.'"

Dasen has been charged with rape for allegedly paying a 15-year-old girl for sex. He also has been charged with two felony counts of promoting prostitution. He has pleaded not guilty to all charges. "That girl had defaulted on a loan for Skittles," said his attorney, George Best . "And the prostitution charge is ludicrous. What my client was promoting was fiscal responsibility."

Dasen is free on $50,000 bond and staying with his wife at their Arizona vacation home.

Now there's a home with some interesting dinner discussions going on.

Special thanks to the good folks at World O' Crap and Roger Ailes for bringing the...umm...creative business practices of Mr. Dasen to our attention.