Always Low Standards. Always

Oops. Looks like the boys of Mordor are having some...um...technical difficulties. Perhaps they shouldn't buy their software from..ah...Wal-mart.

Wal-Mart Stores Inc. is shutting down the system that creates movie recommendations on its shopping Web site after it linked a "Planet of the Apes" DVD to films about famous black Americans, including Martin Luther King Jr.

Bill Wertz, a spokesman for the company, said it wasn't yet clear how the technical problem arose. "We're still looking into it. We've got a call into the software developer right now. A Mr. David Duke."

"We are heartsick that people found out about this and are currently doing everything possible to make it seem like an error," Wal-Mart spokeswoman Mona Williams said in a statement. "But it was a hoot while it lasted though wasn't it? You should have seen what I got when I typed in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory."

Wal-Mart moved swiftly into damage control after a link to the page for "Planet of the Apes" began circulating on the Internet.

"Walmart.com's item mapping process does not work correctly and at this point is mapping based on what we call the "Cracker Factor," said a spokesperson. "We were horrified to discover that minorities watch movies too."

The world's largest retailer said the software that generates links for shoppers from one movie to others of similar interest would restricted to use by company executives only. "It's really been a hit at some of our executive retreats," said Williams. "I thought I was going to wet myself I laughed so hard when one of the VP's typed in 'tacos.'"

Later, a Wal-mart press release said all cross references would be removed as soon as technically possible until the system can be brought into compliance with federal anti discrimination regulations.