The Official Ironicus Maximus Guide To The 2012 Presidential Election. Part I

Greetings fellow voters and those of you trying to stay out of Issac's way. Today we begin a new series here in the marbled halls of IM Central in which we will assist you in making that quadrennial decision as to which corporate overlord you would like to be in charge of funneling your income to the job creators' offshore accounts.

Today we discuss the first NS5 to run for president, Mitt (Total Recall) Romney. Now, some have said the the whole Romney phenomenon is the result of the large pile of money Bain Capitol made hoovering up the assets of companies becoming self aware and setting forth into the country saying things like "Corporations are people too, my friend," but our job here is not to investigate the technical origins of Dr. Lanning's contribution to the American political process.

Instead we are going to provide you with a snippet of source code from the Romney basic operating program. This little snippet of code will enable you to instantly evaluate all of the positions, pronouncements, opinions, statements and utterances made by the unit currently functioning as Mitt Romney.

Now, it should be noted that we ran across this code when it was inadvertently blurted out by a Romney operative in defense of the made up charge that Obama had lifted work rules for welfare recipients.

“Fact checkers come to this with their own sets of thoughts and beliefs, and we’re not going to let our campaign be dictated by fact checkers,” Romney pollster Neil Newhouse said.

And there you have it. A campaign disassociated from the truth by design. A campaign where flip flopping is not a sign of cynical depravity, but a feature as much a part of the program as Mitt's attempts at humor, and his unfortunate appearances at proletariat gatherings wearing artificially faded jeans and $500 shoes.

This is what good god fearing American citizens are forced to put up with when this PC driven culture simply won't let you call a spade a spade.