Wednesday, September 15, 2010

There's No Crying In Texas

Frequent readers of this blog know victory is merely the temporary postponement of mean know that we are card carrying members of the educorporate training complex. As such, in carrying out our duly appointed responsibilities vis-a-vis annoying students, we have often had to cope with adolescent emotions run amok. These occurrences are generally inconvenient and often require copious amounts of our time that could be better applied to more convivial pursuits such as, well, not being around kids in freak out mode for one.

We tell you this because, even given our years of experience ruining the next generation we haven't quite figured out a way to be in a human service without, you know, being of service to the humans. Until we ran across the policy at Byron Nelson High School that is.

Byron Nelson High School junior Kyler Robertson was cleared to return to classes Thursday, his mother said, two days after he was suspended because he was believed to be under the influence of marijuana. Robertson, 16, was grieving his father's death when he went to school Tuesday. He had bloodshot, watery eyes, and school officials said he smelled of marijuana, according to Cristy Fritz, his mother. After being checked by a school nurse, he was suspended and told that he would have to enter an alternative education program.
Now, we have long known that always assuming the worst about kids was very efficient educationally, because it allows one to go right to the punishment phase of the policy without having to waste time trying to figure out what's actually wrong, like one would do if one actually, you know, cared or something, but involving the school nurse, who's medical training and observational skills were professionally honed is brilliant. See, a regular person like an competent teacher, or concerned school counselor when observing a student apparently in some distress might make the mistake of asking what's wrong?

Yeesh. And we trust these people with our kids? Luckily this little miscreant was seen by a trained professional who immediately deduced his problem as drug psychosis and shipped him off the burn out wing. Wham Bam, problem solved.
But a drug test performed later that day showed no evidence of marijuana or any other drug, according to records provided to the Star Telegram. Robertson, who plays on the junior varsity golf team, did not return to school Thursday because his family is preparing for his father's funeral. Richard "Richie" Robertson was fatally stabbed Sunday during an argument.

Oops. Well, on the bright side, the kid got out of that math quiz. No harm no foul huh?

District spokeswoman Lesley Weaver said she could not discuss specifics about the case, citing federal privacy laws. She did say, however, that the district has offered support and counseling to Robertson. "We plan to do everything within our power to help Kyler overcome his drug problem," she said.

Northwest school board President Mark Schluter declined to comment because of the possibility of litigation. "I will tell you one thing though," he said. "That's the last time we're going to hire a school nurse who used to work at the Walmart walk in clinic."


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