Give Me Your Lunch Money And By The Way, Those Aren't Good Colors For You

When we were in fifth grade the class bully was Vernon. He wasn't the most efficient bully you could have, sometimes going whole weeks without asking for our lunch money, or cutting in line, still he was the best we could do and we were appropriately respectful of his role. Until Richie Smith punched him in the nose one day that is. In Vernon's defense we have to say it was a bit of a sucker punch because he wasn't actually engaged in an bullying activities at the time, but Richie's dad had told him he must always stand up to bullies, and we guess Richie just decided there was no time like the present to put his father's advice into action.

Anyway, that pretty much ended Vernon's career as a bully. We tell you this by way of establishing our credentials in the area of bully relations and bully associated issues because it seems the folks over at Focus on the Family have some serious misconceptions about the nature of bullies and how to tell them from the people being bullied

As kids head back to school, conservative Christian media ministry Focus on the Family perceives a bully on the playground: national gay-advocacy groups.

OK, anyone who was ever in school knows that the gays aren't the bullies, they're the ones who get bullied. We mean, think about it. What's the absolute worst thing one middle school kid can call another? "You're gay," right? Now, think back to your school days. Would you walk up to the resident bully and ask them if they're gay because they're a bully, or a bully because they're gay?

Didn't think so.

Now, we don't want to cast aspersions on anybody, but really FOTF, if you are being bullied by gay folks, you have got to be some sort of weapons grade wimp, or a really lousy dresser. Something.

"We feel more and more that activists are being deceptive in using anti-bullying rhetoric to introduce their viewpoints, while the viewpoint of Christian students and parents are increasingly belittled," said Focus on the Family education expert Candi Cushman.

 Yeah, so the "activists" introduce their "rhetoric" that says gay kids shouldn't be bullied, and you're concerned that the "viewpoint" of christians is "belittled" because of that. So...the "viewpoint" of christians is that gay kids should be bullied? We're a little unclear on the nature of your concern. And your "expert" on bullies is named "Candi?" With an "i?" Come on. Where's Pastor Giles when you need him?

Public schools increasingly convey that homosexuality is normal and should be accepted, Cushman said, while opposing viewpoints by conservative Christians are portrayed as bigotry.

Well, let's see. Mr. Webster, care to step in here?

big·ot·ry  [big-uh-tree]: Stubborn and complete intolerance of any creed, belief, or opinion that differs from one's own.

 Yep. Sounds like bigotry to us.

Cushman said there have been several incidents in which religious freedom has lost out to the right of gay activists to promote their views.

Hmm...must have missed the memo that said homosexuality was a religion. Well, as long as they don't try to open an interior decorating shop near ground zero, we respect their right to worship as they see fit.