February 12, 2008

Why are you reading this? 

As we have documented on several occasions, it's hard following the one true faith when you live in a world where everyone else seems to be following some other one true faith, and even folks who follow no faith at all think they are following the one true...erm...faith? Well, the point is, it gets confusing. Leave it to the invisible hand of the market to sort it all out though. Submitted for your consideration,  At Least It's Better Than Pope On A Rope

Frequent readers of this blog will probably not put their upcoming economic stimulus money to good use...er...we mean have often chuckled at our occasional poking of the fun at our christian friends. You know, the ones who say god put all those fossils on earth just for a big fake out. We kid because we love.

But no more. We have come across one of the most heinous cases of religious discrimination since Barabbas got a get out of jail free card. Sure, people who have the misfortune of being born in Islamic countries are getting bombed and stuff, and even those foolish enough to worship the wrong god in this country get a not so subtle reminder from time to time that we're all about the big JC, but this blatant attempt to persecute the christian community makes all those incidents look like fraternity pranks. In fact, this attempt is so over the top, we wonder why the Big G himself hasn't stepped in. Oh sure, we know he's always up for a little testing of the faith through hurricanes, floods, pestilence and whatnot, but this...this is just too much.

Christians living in Singapore were being forced to buy Jesus makeup.

A cosmetics range with cheeky taglines that extolled the virtues of "Looking Good for Jesus" has been pulled from stores in Singapore. Promising to "Redeem your reputation and more," the product line included a "virtuous vanilla"-flavored lip balm and a "Get Tight with Christ" hand and body cream. "What? Aren't you guys all about redemption?" asked a spokesperson for Wing Tai Retail, which manages Topshop where the cosmetics were sold.

"These products trivialize Jesus Christ and Christianity," Nick Chui, one of the complainants, said. "Jesus would never date a girl just because she had showered with 'Wild in the Desert' body wash. I don't even think they had showers back then. "

"There are also sexual innuendoes in the messages and the way Jesus is portrayed in these products, " he added. "I'm sure Jesus wore shirts, and he probably didn't work out."

On the packaging of one of the products, Jesus, wearing a bright white robe, looks heavenward while a blonde, heavily made-up woman with an arm draped across his shoulder gazes dreamily at his face. "We're pretty sure Mary Magdalene wasn't blonde," said Grace Ong, another complainant.

"Why would anyone use religious figures to promote vanity products? It's very disrespectful and distasteful," she continued. "Plus I tried the tanning lotion and I didn't 'Get the Complexion of The Nazarene Overnight.' Unless people from Nazareth were orange."

An unnamed Wing Tai Retail spokesman apologized for offending the christian community. "Look, we see them over there at the souvenir shops buying those pictures of Jesus where the eyes follow you around all the time. We just thought they'd like something practical, something with a little class. Excuse me for caring."

Christians make up about 15 percent of multicultural Singapore's population of 4.5 million people, but they file 86% of all the complaints.