Tuesday, January 05, 2010

I Dun Writ Me A Buk

We're coming to you today from the Department of Redundancy Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The DRD is a subsidy of Have You Heard This One Before, INC. in partnership with the Deja Vu All Over Again Corporation.

A while back we brought you news that Michael Steele, then newly elected chairMan of the republicans who are still able to afford medications, declared an official end to the era of republican apologies for basically ending civilization as we know it.

Now, to further underline and emphasize the new direction republicans and their forward looking agenda for looking forward is taking Mr. chairMan Steele has penned a tome in which he...uh...apologizes for the fact that republicans, after eight years of owning democracy's scrawny buttocks, have basically left the whole world in the dumpster.

We're pretty sure we've got that right. Mr. Steele? Care to explain?
Republican Party Chairman Michael Steele offers a simple explanation for why the GOP all too often lost touch with typical Americans since the Ronald Reagan era: "We screwed up," he claims in a new book offering a blueprint for the party's resurgence.
"Screwed up"? You "screwed up"? Mr. Steele, Tiger Woods screwed up. Well, he also screwed down, sideways and out the back door over by the garage and out onto the terrace, but that's not our point. You guys dropped a floater on the country the size of Missouri. Saying you "screwed up" is like saying atomic bombs have a tendency to rearrange the furniture when they go off in the living room.
In "Right Now: A 12-Step Program for Defeating the Obama Agenda," Steele says the GOP should acknowledge where "we most glaringly compromised our principles" in the past decade and hold its elected officials accountable.
Wait, you've got "principles now"? Did you get them before or after you stole an election, trashed the constitution, lied us into an unnecessary war and turned the government over to your cronies so they could loot the treasury?

OK, perhaps we're being too harsh, Mr. Steele. Everybody makes mistakes. Most mistakes don't wreck a nation, but we'll hold that in abeyance right now and ask you, of the new look republicans, who is the most principled? John Ensign? Pete Hoekstra? James Inhofe? Joe Barton? Newt Gingrich? Sarah Palin? Go ahead, pick one. Or add your own, we'll wait.
The GOP chairman defended former Vice President Dick Cheney's harsh criticism of President Barack Obama, saying that he, too, believes Obama tries to avoid directly acknowledging a war on terror.
Seriously? Dick Cheney? That's your choice? You know he's got a problem with the brothers, right? We'll give you another pick.
One Republican who escapes Steele's intraparty criticism is former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, McCain's running mate. Then again, judging from the book's index, Palin is not mentioned at all."
Aww...and after she said such nice things about you. Well, guess you just got on Todd's list.

Hey, read us that part about how John Ensign got his mommy to pay off his mistress again. It's back in that chapter on values some place.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

You know what?
Ever get the impression that all these Republicans are definitely out of the fifties with their tight sweaters and saddle shoes, and big tits?
They all have these stupid little cheer leaders with bows and braids and crucifixes and they all condemn the bad girl or bad boy who doesn't wear "school colors".
Well, you know what else?
There just isn't that big a crowd.

Anonymous said...

Here we go again, everybody!
Get your Texas "dogs" and Texas "burgers" and have yourself one hell of a BBQ.
Know why?
Cause all the big milkers of the American taxpayers are sucking in through their big, ugly straws.
We already had the books of Cheney and Rove and Bush and yet , it seems, even after Miss Stupid better known as one of the "Mean Girls" the black whore of Republicans wants his day at the bookstands.
And is Steele gonna call any of the bastards who brought America down?
Are you naive or what?
He praises them.
That's called: "Playing with the Team".

Anonymous said...

Steele wants to have a "12 step program" to diss the Obama agenda...
Honestly, when a chief or chairman or whatever you want to label it, is way behind and talking "drugs" and the vague similarities of being an alcoholic, how is that supposed to jive with a President who knows how to talk to Nations.
He smokes, but rarely, and he is not addicted to money and never has been.
What I think Steele should really do is vacate the position he pretends to "honor".
A whore is a whore; and an addict is an addict.
Especially, in Politics.

Anonymous said...

All I know was that Alaska used to be the "forgotten paradise" and everybody loved that.
That is why "tourists", "environmentalists", "activists", used to make a point a visiting Alaska, and sometimes, made it an annual event. (including my father)
Well, of course, all of that has drastically changed since EXXON, REPUBLICANS with their insatiable needs for OIL and CORRUPTION and basically, EXCESS CASH, took over the "wheels". And, of course, that is why they all hire "on the cheap" even drunks, to fuck up the environment as fast as they can ruin it.
So when we see hick-hunting TODD, airplane flyer ,over the woods and all its past purity, we know Sarah and he were truly built for each other.
Wolves, whales, fishing, deers, polar bears, they both have no concern for any of it and that is exactly why Sarah knows TODD is a good "keeper".
He "keeps" the journalists and media in the dark as much as possible thinking the World does not see.
You all lost for a reason, REPUBLICANS.
Because more than the human race despises you.

Anonymous said...

Airplane "excursions" over Alaska to "automatically" rifle "wolves"?
Reminds me of what Sarah does in all her speeches against "Gays"," Immigrants", and "Climatic Changes".
She, the dumbest and the cruelest of them all, obliterates anything "proven" that came as a "lesson" form the "Sky".
And may I add, this includes her very own "family".

Anonymous said...

Cruel individuals are well-known for their insensitivity to not only animals but to people.
When Sarah is a supposed "leader" who is supposed to represent "all the people" it is extremely damaging to USA to witness her "uncaring" and her "untruths" regarding poverty worldwide and her mundane and unrealistic views of international religions.
Despite her miniscule consumption of world affairs, she still professes to rule with ignorance and is very proud of it.
She feels very secure with stupidity.
And this is the kind of stupidity that ultimately does and will destroy.
No matter what.

Anonymous said...

This utter desecration of "Wildlife" is viciously connected to the "ideals" of the extreme right Republican Party, better known as the GOP.
And if you want a picture of it in a flash, (or flashes) go "Cheney. Rove. Bush".
And, as with all of these "absent souls in the works", they absolutely do belong to the NATIONAL RIFLE ASSOCIATION and their "aim" is the proliferation of arms.
They all feel quite "at home" with their "wars on the worlds" and this is the exact attraction for corrupt politicians working "in Mobs" like MIKE GREEN, and EARL RAY TOMBLIN and even whoring
JOE MANCHIN.
They, like LIEBERMAN, will call themselves anything at all to get what they want.
Some of them demand "the Power".
Some of them demand "the Kill".
Whatever their supreme agenda, it will spawn itself into something unlike we have ever seen.
And this, no American can survive.
Because it is "GLOBAL".

Anonymous said...

Let's talk about the "exceptional relationship between President Bush and Putin."
Wasn't President Bush the guy who said:
"When I look into his eyes, I see his soul."?
Well, if that is what Bush did see, perhaps the alarm bells should have gone off.
Unfortunately, what we are all left with is a lot of military build-up and millions of children left as orphans, some of which now subscribe to Terrorism as their goals.
Putin and Bush both "Masterminded" a "Globe Full of Terror". And with their omni-potent ambitions, they both left a World ready to explode.

Anonymous said...

God!
I am sick to death with all these illiterate pigs be they pretending to be straight, like PUTIN, who has been said to be an avid child molester, not caring at all about the violence he "rains down" on children, everywhere or the BIG CHRISTIAN PRETENDERS like EARL RAY TOMBLIN JUNIOR AND SENIOR, who manipulate not only the state of West Virginia, but all of USA.
You see, their connections with GLOBAL, and attaching GOD to their ARMS sales, makes for one big "POW WOW" in no uncertain terms.
So, like the South and all their inbred pedophiles, these kind of people do mingle and cavort within their own specialty of crowds.
The NRA and BUSH and PUTIN and TOMBLIN all come together with a Great Big Bang. And what they all represent within this country and others, is a Hornet's nest full , (including nuclear)
of what seems to be, the HONEY of ALL DREAMS.