Friday, January 15, 2010

Friday Hound Blogging

OK animal rights wackos, you kicked the overlords around pretty good last year, closing tracks, outlawing animal mean the sport, and just generally making life miserable for folks whose only joy in life is leeching their meager existence off the backs of innocent animals, then discarding said animals like yesterday's newspaper.

Uh...we mean living an exciting life in the glamorous and thrilling world of greyhound racing.

Well, no more.
Wheeling Island Hotel-Casino-Racetrack has managed to skirt a trend that caused other gaming centers to close greyhound racing operations.
BAM! IN YOUR FACE! How you like us now, little puppy hugging smoochy smoochy doggie lover?
Crowds remain strong. Even in bone-chilling, 14-degree weather, fans turn out to cheer on the athletic canines as they whip around the track, sometime reaching speeds of 45 mph.
You hear that? Crowds, man crowds! 'Course for us a crowd is 15 people, at least four of which are sober enough to know where they are, but still it's people. People! Just so you know we're baaaaack!
"It's considered the creme de la creme, the ultimate track in racing," said Marci Anderson, president of Steel City Greyhounds.
Creme de la freakin' creme, you Birkenstock wearing, arugula eating all god's creatures hippie freaks. You know what that means? It means the toilets flush most of the time, the lights work and the parking lot is paved. Yeah. And you know what? That's not all. It's a new day and a new year. Tell them Izzy Havenick, vice president of Southwest Florida Enterprises, tell these buttinskis we don't need them sticking their noses into our business anymore.
After years of holding races year-round, the Bonita Springs-based track will return to a seasonal schedule this summer, when kennel owners rotate to Flagler Greyhound track in Miami. The dogs will return to Bonita the next winter.
Are you listening? Did you hear that? Did that get through your thick skull? After years of holding races year-round--that's years animal rights nut--Bonita springs isn't going to do that anymore. That's right, they're... ah... not... erm... doing... um... it... well... anymore. That can't be right. Is that what he said?
The change may be another sign that state parimutuels are weaning themselves from a reliance on dog racing, which has fallen in popularity as Indian gaming surges.
Oh. Um...fallen in popularity, you say. Heh heh. Well, maybe a little. But this is a temporary setback. A small pothole on the road to recovery. We've got the momentum now and there's no going back, right New Hampshire state representative Mary Cooney?
The New Hampshire House voted to ban live dog racing in the Granite State.
Yes, well...uh..."ban" you say? That means like no more greyhound racing at all right? Overlords earning their own keep, stuff like that? OK, if that's the way you want to do this we have to ask you if you really want unskilled, poorly socialized, substance abusers with anger management issues in your job pool? Is that what you want?
Massachusetts lawmakers are considering a plan to help track workers displaced by the voter-approved ban on greyhound racing. The bill would set up a greyhound workers' retraining and support fund.
Retraining? Retraining? Hey Wonderland, how can you have re training when you ain't had no training?

Wonderland is a very sweet dog. He is a big, strong boy who is very energetic. He loves to go out for a walk, and he walks very politely on the leash. Wonderland is very friendly, happy and curious. He will stand and lean into your body hard to be right next to you. He smiles and will open up his mouth in a big happy grin. He is also a Velcro dog, and likes to be the in the thick of things in the house—the more people and activity the better. Wonderland would do well in a working family home with well-mannered teens. He would appreciate a home where he can get a walk every day, if possible. He is good with other dogs and would probably be fine as an only dog. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

Lazlo Update: Lazlo is playful and silly. He is young and energetic, for a greyhound. He is very affectionate. He thinks he is a little dog and will try to climb into your lap and will nuzzle his head against your shoulder. He will touch you with his paw when he wants to play. His tail wags like a helicopter. He is a bit of a greyhound “collector.”


James said...

I do love the helicopter wagm or "propeller tail" as we call it.

James said...

Just so we're clear, that should be "wag" not "wagm," (though the tails, they do wagm, don't they?)

Anonymous said...

We are still waiting for Marena Riggins of Wheeling, West Virginia to show us her total income from all of her races in and out of state. If she is not "Queen of Kansas", we'd like to know who is!