A while back we brought you news that Michael Steele, then newly elected chairMan of the republicans who are still able to afford medications, declared an official end to the era of republican apologies for basically ending civilization as we know it.
Now, to further underline and emphasize the new direction republicans and their forward looking agenda for looking forward is taking Mr. chairMan Steele has penned a tome in which he...uh...apologizes for the fact that republicans, after eight years of owning democracy's scrawny buttocks, have basically left the whole world in the dumpster.
We're pretty sure we've got that right. Mr. Steele? Care to explain?
Republican Party Chairman Michael Steele offers a simple explanation for why the GOP all too often lost touch with typical Americans since the Ronald Reagan era: "We screwed up," he claims in a new book offering a blueprint for the party's resurgence."Screwed up"? You "screwed up"? Mr. Steele, Tiger Woods screwed up. Well, he also screwed down, sideways and out the back door over by the garage and out onto the terrace, but that's not our point. You guys dropped a floater on the country the size of Missouri. Saying you "screwed up" is like saying atomic bombs have a tendency to rearrange the furniture when they go off in the living room.
In "Right Now: A 12-Step Program for Defeating the Obama Agenda," Steele says the GOP should acknowledge where "we most glaringly compromised our principles" in the past decade and hold its elected officials accountable.Wait, you've got "principles now"? Did you get them before or after you stole an election, trashed the constitution, lied us into an unnecessary war and turned the government over to your cronies so they could loot the treasury?
OK, perhaps we're being too harsh, Mr. Steele. Everybody makes mistakes. Most mistakes don't wreck a nation, but we'll hold that in abeyance right now and ask you, of the new look republicans, who is the most principled? John Ensign? Pete Hoekstra? James Inhofe? Joe Barton? Newt Gingrich? Sarah Palin? Go ahead, pick one. Or add your own, we'll wait.
The GOP chairman defended former Vice President Dick Cheney's harsh criticism of President Barack Obama, saying that he, too, believes Obama tries to avoid directly acknowledging a war on terror.Seriously? Dick Cheney? That's your choice? You know he's got a problem with the brothers, right? We'll give you another pick.
One Republican who escapes Steele's intraparty criticism is former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, McCain's running mate. Then again, judging from the book's index, Palin is not mentioned at all."Aww...and after she said such nice things about you. Well, guess you just got on Todd's list.
Hey, read us that part about how John Ensign got his mommy to pay off his mistress again. It's back in that chapter on values some place.
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