Michigan! Motto: We're The Mississippi Of The North

While we pride ourselves on scanning the landscape far and wide to bring you, our beloved reader(s) the very best Ironicus at its most delicious Maximus, sometimes the pigeon droppings of wackery splat before us like bugs on a July windshield. To wit:

The Legislature has approved 15 budget bills to cover the state's expenses this fiscal year, yet major pieces of the plan still aren't on Gov. Jennifer Granholm's desk for her signature. Republicans who control the Senate are refusing to send the Democratic governor six of the bills because they fear she'll veto portions or entire bills that they have so carefully crafted to gut essential services. They want the measures left as they are so the budget will balance without raising taxes. "Think about it," said Senate Majority leader Mike Bishop. "How many times in your life to you really need a policeman or a fireman? Maybe we could give them beepers or something. You know, have them on call, but don't pay them unless there's a bank robbery or a fire. I'm full of cost saving ideas."

Granholm, on the other hand, wants to raise at least $300 million to $400 million in new revenue to pay for several programs that were slashed or eliminated in the bills being held by the Senate. "That's our tax and spend governor for you," Bishop said. "When I was in school, if we wanted something we had a bake sale, we didn't rely on the mommy state."

"If we don't act carefully in how we solve this year's crisis, we'll make next year's crisis that much worse," Bishop said. "The longer we keep supporting old people and sick people, particularly poor sick people, the more it's going to cost us. My plan gets us out from under that burden."

The Rochester Republican has sent the governor a letter attaching copies of the six bills so she can review them and tell him on what she plans to do. "See, 'cause if I don't like it then she can't do it. That's called bipartisanship."

Capitol observers don't remember ever seeing a legislative chamber hold onto budget bills once they've passed. But these are Republicans. "These guys make Glen Beck look like Aristotle," said one observer.

The six bills Bishop is holding back cover energy, labor and economic growth, general government, human services, state police, community health and higher education. "Luxuries," said Bishop. "While crazy people and college kids are sucking off the teat of big government, poor businessmen are suffering under the burden of taxation."

Republicans could hold onto the bills for weeks and dump them in Granholm's lap before midnight Oct. 31, daring her to use her veto pen with no temporary budget in place in November. Under that scenario, republicans believe Granholm would be responsible for the budget not being done.

"Yeah. That makes sense if you're dumber than a dry dog turd," said Senate Democratic Leader Mike Prus. "Oh wait, these are republicans. I think I just insulted dry dog turds."