Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Anything for A Buck...Literally, A Buck

You know, looking back over posts we have created on this blog, some of which we actually remember writing, it occurs to us that we may occasionally give the mistaken impression that we are a bunch of smart alecky, wise acre, insufferable twits. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Well, actually there's quite a bit that could be further from the truth, but that's not our point right now. What we're getting at is that we do possess the capacity to be supportive, empathic and grateful.

For example, employment. You may have noticed in these last desultory days of western civilization that a lot of people are out wandering the streets who are not zombies. They are what the government so politely refers to as job seekers, a subset of the group commonly referred to as the former Middle Class.

We are particularly attuned to these distinctions here in Michigan where there are only six jobs left anyway, and thus are particularly grateful and appreciative of ours. Which is why, even given about his administration--not to mention his penchant for unsupervised use of power tools--we are happy to receive the news that George Bush has found post presidential employ as a carnival barker.

OK, we may not have that quite correct. According to the flier, which apparently is being put on the windshields of cars in suburban Wal-Marts, our beloved walking Malaprop is a "Special Guest Speaker," or as we like to call it out here in flyover country, Rube Magnet.

Mr. Bush has apparently been able to clear his calendar of high school graduation speeches and will lead an all star team into the AT&T Center in San Antonio to "Get Motivated" on your droopy white behinds. Let's take a look at the team, shall we?

First up, Zig Zigler, "America's #1 Motivator. Now, we may be quibbling here, but if Zig Ziglar is America's #1 motivator, and he speaks, why do you need anyone else? We mean, how much motivation is it going to take out there in San Antonio? Are you people, or egg plants?

Next up Terry Bradshaw who will discuss the motivational aspects of running around a field in tight pants trying to throw a $45.00 inflated bladder to another similarly dressed human while being paid millions of dollars. Most relevant to the people in the audience who had leftover rat for breakfast.

Then we have Dr. Robert Schuller who will tell you why children can be such a mean inspirational.

After that there appears to be a bit of a fall off. It's Tony Parker who made a million dollars--dude, we can do better than that in the Lotto; Not Bill Gates from Microsoft; a lady with a wolverine on her head, and a token black man who used to work in government.

Still, we do have the former president who, say what you will about the flaming bag of dog poo that was his administration, was one of only 44 men to hold that job in the entire history of this country. That ought to count for something huh? So how much are the tickets? $500? We figure it's got to be up there because Bill Clinton makes $300,000 for one of his speeches. Ticket prices got to be pretty hefty to cover prices like that, right?

Oh. That's...uh...that', nice of you to invite the whole office. Hey look at the time, gotta go.


Anonymous said...

I'd like to know who they all think is worse.
Sarah Palin or George Bush?
Do they really think Sarah Palin would be "better"?
Alaska is better than Texas?
How about Sarah is smarter than George?
What are these idiots thinking?

Anonymous said...

Considering we're deep into this recession, there are about a billion things worth $19 at the grocery store more significant and healthy than a Bush ticket.
As for Bill Clinton, if what they say is true and he is donating a lot of his fees to charity, isn't this the absolute way to go, particularly during this recession? Somehow, George Bush who more than helped cause this financial dive, still "doesn't get it".
Texas, please, just keep him there.

Anonymous said...

I've never been crazy for Politics.
Politics , for me, was always like a trip to the doctor's and you don't know why you should bother to go and certainly, why should you even be on time? It's not like he/she is actually waiting for you and looking forward to knowing that all is perfect with you with the right temperature, and the right count of your heart and proper sound of your lungs. I mean, what could possibly be wrong with someone when they eat and go to bed under their own rooftops and have a steady, well-paying job and have enough gas in the tank, and all the kids are fed and they look just fine?
Well, guess what?
Suddenly, I think I see a need to look a little more closely at Politics.
And it must have started with all the lying about the wars. And all the cheating with the business deals with Cheney and a lot of the government officials under the Bush administration.
I heard about the rapes that went on in the military and how the information was suppressed and how also there were other women gang -raped working for an oil company while the war overshadowed the war on them. I mean, what the hell is that? That women can't be protected in the military and that homosexuals can't even get into the military and that there were contracts actually drawn up beforehand to obliterate any "power" victims had for taking action against anyone raping them or aggressing them or taking their rights away in this same military that these people are sacrificing their lives to fight for! And the oil company as well! And for a profit!
So , when I see Bush, and Rove, and Cheney and all their friends' illegal activities, knowingly and intentionally executed , at the cost of thousands of human lives and thousands permanently maimed in the process,well, it certainly stops the watch and gives you pause.
Particularly, since everyone now, all across America, with 10 % jobless and I've lost count how many now homeless, and all the kids without food before they go to bed, and , don't even dream about that education!
So, now, it's kind of a "funny" thing, where those days of not liking to go to the doctor's, are long gone. Few have been in ages! And that's not because many can't be bothered or have no interest at all in going . It's because perhaps there are other more pressing realities such as there is no roof, little food and educations are permanently stalled. And as for the gas? Many have no car.
Well, what can one say?
Millions were doing so much better with Democratic governments, and it seemed to be a constant and I guess we just assumed everybody understood that.
But not the Republicans like Bush and Cheney and Rove and they are that team that supported this downfall of this great country.
And this is why, I am now going to follow Politics and stay fine tuned to Obama and his smart and global -thinking members.
Bill Clinton and Al Gore made this country proud, financially, educationally , scientifically, environmentally, and we can only hope to God, the World knows we are ,indeed , coming back. And from the Dead.