Thursday, October 08, 2009

The Chair Recognizes The Gentleman From Ithyphallophobia

You know, We really have quite a history of Orator Statesmen here in the good old U S of A. We're talking about people like James Otis and his famous speech against the Stamp Act, or John Adams, starting with his endorsement of George Washington to be Commander in Chief of the Revolutionary Army. Then there are James Madison, Thomas Jefferson, Daniel Webster, Henry Clay, Stephen Douglas, etc., etc., etc.

Ah, if the walls of Congress could talk...Anyway, given that tradition of elocutionary power, imagine our dismay when we awaken this morning to the latest addition to this pantheon of wordsmiths, Representative Louie Gohmer (R - Blart! Glork! Ack!).

We're sorry, that's Representative Louie Gohmer t who rose in opposition to the repeal of the Don't Ask Don't Tell policy for gays in the military. Speaking in the same chamber that once echoed with the eloquence of Abraham Lincoln, Gohmer had this to say:

Excuse us again. It's Gohmer t
He began his bizarre homophobic speech, calling the repeal of the “Don’t Act Don’t Tell” policy “perverse…social experimentation” and said that our soldiers are being “held hostage by a sociological attack.”
We're not sure what a "sociological attack" is, but we're thinking soldiers might prefer it to a Taliban attack, or a suicide bomber attack, or a roadside bomb attack. Just a guess. And if our soldiers are being held hostage by the Don't Ask Don't Tell policy, wouldn't ending it release them from that hostageitood, representative Gohmer?

D'oh! We mean Gohmer t
Gohmert then veered into attacking the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Act, which includes protections for LGBT victims of hate crimes. He said that offering protection against hate crimes based on sexual orientation would lead to the legalization of necrophilia, pedophilia and bestiality, because the interpretation of sexual orientation is “wide-open.”
Um...we're talking about DADT here representative Gohmer t. Focus, man, focus!
There are all kinds of perversions, what most of us would call perversions, Some would say it sounds like fun, but most of us would say were perversions.
Hey, have you been talking to senator Vitter again. You know he just makes you all sweaty and you have trouble sleeping for a couple of days.
If you’re oriented toward animals, bestiality, then, you know, that’s not something that can be used, held against you or any bias be held against you for that. Which means you’d have to strike any laws against bestiality, if you’re oriented toward corpses, toward children, you know, there are all kinds of perversions.
Right. And while we're at it we should thank representative Gohmer t for being one of the few legislators who hasn't lost his balance on the slippery slope.
Gohmert then took a bizarre right turn from sexual perversions to racism and Nazis, claiming he is not a racist because he once voted for Alan Keyes.
Racist no. Stupid yes.
The excitable Gohmert then whipped out a bible and began reading biblical verses against homosexuality.
Hmmm...wonder if Matt 7: 3 -5 was in there.
Gohmert then reasoned that a lack of morality leads to economic instability, which would lead to a “little guy with a mustache.”
Geraldo Rivera?


Anonymous said...

As soon as you start talkin' Texas, we got our mojo on.
He got his name from one of the most "obscene" songs ever and his Mama must have jived to that.
(who was his ever lovin' Pa?)
Whoever starts thinkin' mountin' stray dogs , old and dead "aunties" not to mention deflowerin' 6 year old Sues next door, well, that boy needs his cow turned out yonder. (and maybe he'll follow it "home")
All you "queers" out there, beware. Here's another one "in denial" goin' off the deep end.
And you white paradin' "Nazis", get ready for some "heady" costumes and props.
(Bibles included)

Anonymous said...

Isn't Alan Keyes that black radio guy with "the Dream Man" routine?
He also stole about a hundred grand from the government?
It is amazing that all these crooks in politics and these racists included, are so simple-minded and perpetually small in stature and "promise".
They aren't good looking.
They aren't at all cerebral.
And they have absolutely no principles, whatsoever.
So who and what elects them?
The panderers?
The stupidity?
Or just good old fashioned, corruption?

Anonymous said...

We can only hope that at the Human Rights gathering this Saturday, Obama will speak of tolerance; of acceptance; of education with gay people everywhere.
Parents must become more vigilant to teach their children the proper way to treat humanity, no matter what color, what sex, what handicap. Respect and harmony must be the key as with everything else in our world.
There can be no more knocking around of brutes and cowboys on the kill as what happened to Matthew Shepherd in Wyoming more than ten years ago.
No person or animal deserves to be beaten to death and left to bleed out a life alone, particularly because he/she is gay.
We are supposed to be one of the greatest countries on earth but sick thinking such as this leaves the world horrified and stunned. It is not to be proud of let alone giving time to a bigoted bozo "statesman" from Texas flaunting these beliefs and demanding Americans to "rise against such evil beings".
The Bible can be interpreted any way a person so chooses. But to become part of the Holy Scripture, one must act in love. And for everyone.
Let us hope Obama speaks loudly and clearly and with legislation.

Anonymous said...

So far so good despite what Burton from Indiana had to say : "Shame on you."
The Democrats won the majority for the hate crime bill to be introduced and laws enacted.

You Republicans are so ugly.

scripto said...

ithyphallophobia? You made look that up. I thought it was fear of fish penises. That even kind of made sense.

Anonymous said...

I think everybody should seriously start worrying about Texas and all the "mad cow."
Kansas , too.

Anonymous said...

Terrific. USA is like a hundred years behind, particularly with the gay hatred.
The wildest thing is, like the NRA and the guns and the "false masculinity" , when it comes to guys being really macho and just not caring about gay stuff, all the South "men" are having "hissy fits". You cannot tell me that this is " in the Bible". This is the majority of NRA , Republican assholes that carry a gun because they are paranoid of their own shadows. So, if they are creeped out with their own selves, no wonder they can never get it together about others who DO have it together and are gay!
Kind of like jealous, "mean girls" who have meltdowns by killing anybody (or anything) that is thought-provoking. They have total inability of accepting the way" God" made them. (and without guns)

Jenna McWilliams said...

Well played, I.M. Well played.