We're not Sure "Connect With The Voters" Means What He Thinks It Means

OK, so republicans are trying to find a way back into polite society by acting like they eat pizza with the common folk, hiding their money from black folks and boning their constituents.

Wait, what?

An Oakland County Commissioner is facing an indecent exposure charge, accused of being naked and engaged in sex on a city sidewalk last month, police said.

Dude. On the sidewalk? We mean, we know the republicans are all about transparency in government, but...Dude...on the sidewalk?

Commissioner Kim Capello, R-Viagra, appeared before Novi District Judge Dennis Powers today on the charge, a misdemeanor punishable by up to 93 days in jail and fines.

93 days? Not 90, or 100? Got to have something to do with those chaps you were wearing, right?

The officer reported shining a spotlight on two figures leaning on a three-foot tall brick wall who looked as if they were engaged in sexual intercourse. "At first I didn't see anyone," the officer said. "But then I head a male voice shouting 'Cut my taxes baby! Harder! Harder!' and so I directed the spotlight in that direction ."

Capello, a former Novi councilman, and the woman were both been questioned by police about 2 a.m. "Initially Mr. Capello told the officer he was 'caucusing' with the female," the police report said. "But the officer became suspicious when the female mentioned the 'caucus' would cost $100."

Police said Capello identified himself as the mayor of Detroit, immediately pulled on his clothes offered to get the police officers Rush Limbaugh autographs if they wouldn't press charges.

The officer said both appeared intoxicated and both said they had been drinking prior to the incident.

Yeah, that makes sense. Look, if you're republican you really think you're going to get a sober girl to go to...um...sidewalk with you?