Thursday, May 14, 2009

See Also Barrel Scraping, Bottom Of

Frequent readers of this blog know acquiescing to one's fate is preferable, and more comfortable than perseverance in the face of adversity...er...we mean know that from time to time, in our own rather juvenile and disrespectful way we have documented the republicans' efforts to recreate themselves after the most recent series of unfortunate events and rise once again to that exalted level of mendacity, bigotry and demagoguery that they enjoyed before, you know, before they moved into the neighborhood.

Well, that was the old Ironicus Maximus. That was before the republicans unveiled their latest strategy for re-establishing the permanent republican majority--which would have totally happened if it hadn't been for that idiot McCain screwing up Palin's campaign.

Word.

Anyway, we're the new Ironicus Maximus now with new found respect and admiration for the strategists who developed the latest surefire campaign to bring the republican party back in to the mainstream of American politics:

Name calling.

A member of the Republican National Committee said that when the RNC meets in an extraordinary special session next week, it will approve a resolution rebranding Democrats as the “Democrat Socialist Party.”

Umm...what's that the kids say? Oh, Snap?

See, this is a brilliant strategy because, unlike the republicans, who've been the majority party these last eight years and always in the spotlight, the democrats have had it easy and no one has called them any names. This is going to be particularly devastating to the President because as a multi-racial person growing up with an absent father and a white mother in rather poor surroundings, we're sure he's never been called any names.

And not only that, it has the word "socialist" in it which is fifty eleven times worse than terrorist.

When asked if such a resolution would force RNC Chairman Michael Steele to use that label when talking about Democrats in all his speeches and press releases, the RNC member replied: “Who cares?”

OK, this is a problem. See, if you have a policy of calling the other guy names, but people on your side don't actually, you know, call the other guy names, then that's going to cut into the effectiveness of your strategy, comprendo?

Steele wrote a memo last month opposing the resolution. Steele said that while he believes Democrats “are indeed rubber,” he also said in a (rare) flash of insight that "officially after the last election the republicans have pretty much completely become glue.”

We see your dilemma, Chairman Steele.

Steele said that officially referring to them as the Democrat Socialist Party “will accomplish little than to give the media and our opponents the opportunity to mischaracterize Republicans.”

And by "mischaracterize" he means point and laugh.

Steele is not a popular chairman within the RNC, and his recent statements that appeared to attack Mitt Romney and the Republican base have undermined his popularity even further. In fact, close reading of the stall walls in several of the rest rooms at RNC headquarters reveal that Steele may in fact be less popular than poems about the flatulence versus defecation conundrum.

Rumor has it that if this doesn't work, republicans are going to hold their breaths until someone votes for them.

1 comment:

Seeing Eye Chick said...

Coming from the Republican National Poopyhead Party, I will take that under advisement.