Friday, October 27, 2006

Friday Hound Blogging

We're coming to you today from the Department of Pedantry here at IM Central. Today's topic: Pari-mutuel racing. We'll wait while you get your notebooks...OK ready? We bring this up because greyhound racing is a that's not it...uh...travesty...well...let's just go with activity so we can get on with the lecture.

In pari-mutuel betting all the marks'' money goes into a pot and those who win get the biggest share. Usually it's enough for bus fare back home, but that's not the point. The state that licenses the track also takes a cut as does the track itself. Now the problem lately with greyhound racing is that there aren't enough people with low enough IQs ponying up the rent money to make the pot big enough so instead of taking a cut, the state has to actually put money in.

Raise your hand if you think the state is stupid. Ah, looks unanimous. Wait who's that back in the corner? Why didn't you raise your hand sir? Oh. Sorry to wake you.

Back to the lesson. As you may imagine, because there is gambling going on at the track and people with third grade educations are in charge of it, the state kills many trees each year issuing regulations and requirements that the tracks are supposed to follow.

Supposed to.

Twelve men and one woman have been charged in a scheme to fix greyhound races at the Mobile track by drugging favored dogs with pills and collecting about $67,000 in payouts, a prosecutor said.

$67,000! Boy Howdy we're drinking the brand name stuff tonight!

Now before all you namby pamby animal rights whackos get your L. L. Bean undies in a bunch, three track employees are accused of giving the greyhounds an herbal concoction, available at health food stores, which exhausts the greyhound by race time.

See? They gave the dogs stuff from a Health Food Store. Do the overlords care about the units or what? Only organically grown, pesticide free drugs for these dogs.

Mobile County District Attorney John Tyson Jr. said tracks throughout the United States have been notified of the charges and that the suspects, all from Mobile and adjacent Baldwin counties, are immediately barred from any tracks.

Ha! Take that evil doers! No more two dollar bets for you. Bet you wish you'd used some of that 67K to pay ahead on your trailer mortgage now, huh?

Charges include tampering with racing animals and transmission of racing information for illegal gambling purposes. A conviction on the felony charges could bring up to 10 years in prison.

Oh, yeah. Well, there is that too. Al, you've got some experience with prison. Think 10 years is enough?
Al is a reserved, well-mannered, easy going boy. He loves people. He foster dad calls him “Joe Cool.” He enjoys spending time outside and will sometimes dig a hole so he can lie in the dirt. Al is a Second Chance at Life Dog from the Coldwater, Michigan Prison Program. Al would do well in a working family home with well mannered older children, 10 and up. He is good with other average to large size dogs and would probably be fine as an only dog. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

No comments: