Wednesday, April 19, 2006

I'm The Liar Who Lied About Your Lies Until I Can Lie No More (That's A Lie)

One of these men is looking for a job.

Calm down. It's the man on the left. Had you for a moment there, didn't we?

A Bush administration shake-up continued with White House press secretary Scott McClellan announcing his resignation. When asked how shuffling insiders into different offices could be considered a shakeup, McClellan responded that he didn't have to explain "The Idiot In Chief's boneheadedtry" any more and as far as he was concerned the whole press corps could "Suck eggs and die."

Then the president entered the room and McClellan said “I have given it my all sir and I have given you my all sir, and I will continue to do so as we transition to a new press secretary.” Bush replied, "Great Job...Scott isn't it?"

In other "shake-up" news, presidential advisor Karl Rove was struck by lightening on the south lawn and a voice from the heavens was heard to say "Even a deity can only take so much." The smell of sulfur was heavy in the air for hours afterward.

Got you again didn't we?

A senior administration official revealed another move in the ongoing shake-up of Bush’s staff, saying Rove, the president's longtime confidant and adviser, is giving up oversight of policy development to focus more on politics with the approach of the fall midterm elections.

When asked what policy development Rove had oversight responsibility for, the official replied "Developing policies to help us win elections."

For now, Rove's old job of deputy chief of staff for policy is being given to Joel Kaplan, now the White House’s deputy budget director who was Bolten's No. 2 person at the Office of Management and Budget.

Now that's a shakeup with a capital shake.

At least for the time being, the promotion of Kaplan would leave Bush with three deputy chiefs of staff: Rove, Kaplan and Joe Hagin, who oversees administrative matters, intelligence and other national security issues."

We're not really sure how all three of us are going to get our noses up the president's butt at the same time," Kaplan said, "But we're working on that and hope to have a solution for you by the time the new press secretary is appointed."

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