Monday, February 13, 2006

When I Say Duck, I Don't Mean There's A Duck, I Mean Duck!

OK, so by now every blog in the blogoshpere has written about vice president "Deadeye" Dick shooting one of his hunting partners. Two of our favorites are here and here.

Now, given that the birds Cheney was shooting--when he wasn't shooting people in his party--were all pen raised and set loose shortly before the hunt began, we wonder why they would fly from Cheney's gun and not welcome him as a liberator.

The other thing we wonder is that if, as the reports suggest,
Whittington was coming up behind the vice president, why didn't the secret service shoot him? Do they often let people approach the vice president from behind with a gun? Does Cheney have to do everything? Can't we get a little help for the guy running the country?

The accident was not reported publicly by the vice president's office for nearly 24 hours, and then only after the Corpus Christi Caller-Times reported it Sunday. Cheney spokeswoman Lea Anne McBride said the vice president's office did not tell reporters about the accident Saturday because they were deferring to the ranch owner to announce what happened on her property.

Well, that and it took the secret service several hours to get Cheney to put down the gun and quit shouting "Say hello to my leetle friend."

Presidential spokesman Scott McClellan said Monday that Bush and senior aides were told Saturday night by the staff of the White House Situation Room that somebody in the Cheney's hunting party was shot. "The president immediately ordered a nuclear strike on Iran and asked to be transported to an undisclosed location," he said. "Luckily only the vice president has the authority to launch a nuclear attack."

Cheney visited Whittington and his wife before returning to Washington on Sunday. the vice president "was pleased to see that he's doing fine and in good spirits," McClellan said. "Mr. Cheney also commented that hunting men was far more enjoyable than shooting birds released in front of his gun. He has great respect for his quarry Whittington, but next time would prefer a younger, more challenging target."

"I just like killing things," the vice president told reporters aboard Air Force Two on the way back to Washington. "It relaxes me." Later Cheney asked that reporters refer to him The Predator.

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