We Were For That War, Before We Were Against It

Ok, now we're really confused. We mean Really Confused. And scared too. Yesterday our post 9/11 mind set took a severe blow when we found ot that apparently some people in government had gone behind the president and the secretary of defense's backs and sold our ports to a brown country. White house press secretary Scott McClellan said those against the deal might be harboring secret racist tendencies.

But isn't that the point?

Worse, the president is OK with it. "I don't live near a sea port," he told reporters. "What's your point?" But they're brown Mr. president, they're brown people.

Oh. Never mind.

Now we find out Bill O'Reilly wants out of Iraq.

Yes, that Bill O'Reilly.

We like to think we're as patriotic as the next guy. Got the American flag decals and support the troops magnets. Tried to get the zoning commission to deny a request to allow a mosque be built in town. Always give the guy at the Speedy Mart an evil look. We think he's Pakastani, but close enough.

Anyway, the point is, we're trying to do our bit, to make the world safe for white people with money, but we need some guidance here and Bill was just the guy to do it.

Until today.

During the February 20 broadcast of his nationally syndicated radio show, Bill O'Reilly suggested that the United States "hand over everything to the Iraqis as fast as humanly possible."

The reason was that there were "too many nuts' in the country. Well, if anyone knows nuts it's Bill O'Reilly, so we're going to have to go with him on this one.

But this puts us on the horns of a dilemma. If we can't support the war anymore, we can't not support the war because that means we hate America, the troops, the president, Christians and Mel Gibson.

What would Jesus do?

Aww, dang it. Jesus was brown too.