It has to be hard to be an overlord sometimes. There you are, scraping out a meager existence freeloading off your dogs, worrying whether the folks who own the trailer park are going to sell to the mall developer and wishing you hadn't dropped out of school in the sixth grade. Then you pick up the paper and read this.
Seabrook Greyhound Park will shorten live racing to three days a week. This is down from six days a week of live dog racing currently being held at the track.
The shortened live schedule was announced in by Edward Keelan, president of Yankee Greyhound Racing, Inc. When asked is dropping attendance precipitated the move, Keelan responded that attendance wasn't dropping, "It's just that no one's coming out anymore."
If you're an overlord you think crimanee, surely there must be some social security recipients somewhere with two bucks and the IQ of a potato. Disgusted, you turn the page and find this.
Greyhounds will run their final laps around Geneva Lakes Greyhound Track in Delavan, Wisconsin Sunday, the last day of live racing. "It's no longer economically feasible to keep it open," Milt Roth, general manager of the track said. "We're really disappointed that the community showed such a lack of support," he continued. "Exploiting animals for profit can be such great family entertainment."
So now you think you'd better put the paper down and go practice saying "Welcome to Walmart," but just as you're looking for a piece of paper to write the phrase on so you can begin memorizing it, this catches your eye.
The lure is set in motion for greyhound racing's first million-dollar prize, the largest paying stakes event in the history of the sport. The Derby Lane Million will pay a winning purse of $500,000.
Somewhere, in the back of your mind a little voice wonders if $500,000 is a million, but you're not one to quibble about the particulars. If your fellow overlords say $500,000 is a million, then that's good enough for you.
Track President Vey O. Weaver made an official announcement at the National Greyhound Exploiters Hall of Shame. "This will be the biggest event in the history of this so called sport," said Weaver. "We are looking forward to this pathetic attempt to lure clueless suckers to our rundown facility. And we're hoping no one noticed $500,000 isn't a million because...umm...let's just say we don't have a 401(k) here and let it go at that."
Well, good luck with that. Even $500,000 is a lot of $2 bets. And if we were betting people, we'd put our money on this week's hound to be occupying a couch in a very short period of time. Meet Wabash Petie:
Petie is a very calm boy. He is curious and loves to explore his surroundings. He would make someone a wonderful walking companion. Petie is also a fun greyhound with his toys. He will throw them up high in the air and jump to catch them. He does leaps and bounds while playing with toys. He would benefit from someone who would spend time everyday playing with him. He is a Velcro boy so he does shadow his family around. As most dogs he would benefit from an obedience class. Petie is looking for a fun family looking to have a nice companion and a dog who really likes to play. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.