And The Lord Said, "Kansas Ma Dawg"

As that well known cultural observer and roustabout philosopher Scooby Doo has opined, "Rut Ro." Looks like Toto will be glad he's not in Kansas anymore.

Creationism and intelligent design are going to be studied at the University of Kansas, but not in the way advocated by opponents of the theory of evolution. "We're not on board with all that questioning and thinking stuff they want to do, "said a representative from the Kansas state School board. A course being offered next semester titled Special Topics in Religion: Intelligent Design, Creationism and other Religious Mythologies. "Look," said Paul Mirecki, a KU faculty member, "Our state motto isn't '1850 Is Good Enough For Us.'We're tired of being number one in Letterman's top ten list of reasons to stay in Mississippi."

"Creationism is mythology," Mirecki said. "Intelligent design is mythology. Steve Abrams is real, but he's a doofis of mythological proportions."

John Calvert, an attorney and managing director of the Intelligent Design Network in Johnson County, said Mirecki will go down in history as a laughingstock. "Why, the Lord told me just last night Mirecki's gonna be riding a greased pole to Satan's front yard when he dies. And I know it was Jesus speaking to me too, and not the other voices in my head."

Earlier this month, the state Board of Education adopted new science teaching standards that treat evolution as a flawed theory. "Hey, I can't even program my VCR and you're telling me this universe just popped up? No way," said state School Board member Kenneth Willard.

"To equate intelligent design to mythology is really an absurdity, Calvert said. "Mythology is all about supernatural stuff and magic, not like Intelligent Design which is hard core science. Well, except for the God part."

University Chancellor Robert Hemenway said Monday said he didn't know all the details about the new course. "If it's a course that's being offered in a serious and intellectually honest way, those are the kind of courses a university frequently offers," he said. "Representative of Intelligent Design will be invited to speak to the class, providing they don't speak in tongues."