Tuesday, June 07, 2005

If You Think I'm Bad, You Should See Bush's Number Two Choice

Ok, so we didn't do so well on that whole Monday off thing last week, so we had to stay after yesterday and do it again. Reluctant learner? When it comes to fully sleeping off the previous night's bad decisions, you bet.

Alas, today we find ourselves back in the clutches of "the man," lifting that barge and toting that bale. At least when he's looking. Too bad we can't say the same for John "I'm the ambassador bi otch" Bolton.

Democrats forced the Senate to put off a final vote Thursday on Bolton's nomination to be U.N. ambassador. They demanded more information before the Senate can give Bolton an up-or-down vote. Explaining the move, Senator Joe Biden said, "We read that stuff about channeling foreign money into the Republican National Committee, trying to run down old ladies, receiving tens of thousands of dollars in order to help Taiwan gain a seat in the United Nations, spying on Colin Powell for Dick Cheney, and we think, Wow. How many bushes did the president have to beat to find this nut job. Get it? Beating the bushes? See, the president's name is bush too. It's what you call a double entendre."

Senate Majority Leader Frist said the Bolton matter soured the air of cooperation. "Look, we know the guy's a bonkoid," he said, "But that's the point. He fits right in with the rest of the administration, don't you think?"

Democrats do not want to postpone an up-or-down vote indefinitely. "We are willing to vote 10 minutes after we get back in session, if they provide some information on the medications he's taking," Biden said.

White House spokesman Scott McClellan said the administration was pleased that the Senate would revisit the vote. "It is a shame to see the Democratic Senate leadership resort to such a rational approach," McClellan said. "This is a nominee that enjoys majority support."

When asked why he didn't get the endorsement from the Senate Foreign Relations Committee which was controlled by Republicans if he enjoyed "majority" support, McClellan responded, "Oh. Did I say majority? No, No. I meant 'majority' as in the 'majority' of voices in his head."
Senators. Mark Pryor, Ben Nelson and Mary Landrieu were the only Democrats to vote for going to a final vote on Bolton. Asked to explain their votes, Senator Pryor said he was drunk, Senator Nelson said he got confused and though he was voting for "The National Dinosaur," and Senator Landrieu said she seldom paid attention to what she was voting on because, "Heck. Everybody up here is crazy. Why should we single out one person?"

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