I Can't Afford The M16, So I'll Go With The Super Soaker

Since it's only the middle class that's paying taxes, the country can't afford as many wars as if everyone was...oh, we don't know...say paying their fair share? So we're all for government spending what tax money they have in an efficient way. That being said, we still find this a little over the top.

Marine Pfc. Jeremy Tod was urged by his superiors to buy a flak jacket with armor plating, to enhance the prospects of his survival in Iraq. The purchase was to be made with his own money.

Major Nat Frahy, explained that the military issues equipment, but it's possible that some of that equipment may not contribute directly to saving Tod's life. "Hey, we give them these neat uniforms, plus cool patches to sew on, and a helmet. What are we, made of money?" Frahy said.

Besides the flak jacket, the shopping list included a Camelbak (water pouch) ballistic goggles, knee and elbow pads, a "drop pouch" to hold ammunition magazines and a load-bearing vest.

"Well, unless he was going buy ammunition, he wouldn't need the pouch," Said Frahy. "And the Camelbak is no good unless he signs up for the water program. We're having a special this month, two gallons a week for the price of one. We feel our troops deserve a break now and then."

Tod's father decided to pick up the tab for his son. Dad says he is tempted to forward the bill to the Pentagon. When informed of the possible charge to the military, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said, "You know, he may have something there. Triple the price he paid and put the bill on Halliburton letterhead and we just might pay it."

Told about the Marine request, Representative J. D. Hayworth, the Republican whose 5th District includes Tod's home town, said he has never heard of a service person being told to buy his own equipment. "I kind of like the idea of a 'pay as you go' war though. And since not everyone will be able to afford vests, it'll also cut down on the number of veterans we have to support after the war is over. Sounds like a win win to me."