Monday, June 20, 2005

If A Bomb Blows Up In The Woods And Nobody Hears It, Have We Broken The Back Of Terrorism?

We've mentioned before that the vice president is having a harder and harder time keeping his fingers in the president's ears while shouting "LALALALALALA HE CAN'T HEAR YOU." Even members of his own party telling him things he doesn't want to hear.

Nebraska Republican Senator Chuck Hagel said "Things aren't getting better; they're getting worse. The White House is completely disconnected from reality. It's like they're just making it up as they go along. The reality is that we're losing in Iraq."

"That's not true," said Press Secretary Scott McClellan. "We're just not winning as fast as we'd like to be, that's all." When asked to comment on the two Republicans who have joined a pair of Democratic colleagues in sponsoring a bill calling for a troop withdrawal plan to be drawn up by year's end, McClellan slammed his hand on the podium, then pointed at the reporter who had asked the question and said, "No soup for you!"

Only 41 percent of Americans now support Bush's mishandling of the war, and the Iraq news has combined with a neocon economy and doubts about the president's intellectual capacity to push Bush's overall approval ratings near all-time lows. "Hey. This is the guy you elected," said long time supporter Tom DeLay. "He's not any dumber today than he was when you elected him. What did you expect anyway?"

The Bush administration is planning to hit back, starting this week, with a renewed public-relations push. We're going to let the president go to the American people," McClellan said. "As soon as we recruit, interview and train them."

Bush has scheduled a major speech for June 28, the anniversary of the hand over of power to an Iraqi government from U.S. authorities. "There's been too much disassembling going on here," Bush said in a Rose Garden interview. "It's time to get out there and repeat the propaganda for the good of the American people, or at least those Americans who can't read and don't know how to work a TV."

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