Buy A Ford Help A Fag

Now, we've always known there were chick cars, like the Volkswagen Golf, and guy cars like the Corvette, and weenie cars like...well any minivan, but we never knew there were gay cars and that they were all made by Ford, although it does explain why police departments all over the country are getting rid of their Crown Victorias. Well, that and the whole fire thing.

Anyway, the folks at the American Family Association have decided that cars with to die for interior designs and paint jobs that just scream queen are too much, and have called for a boycott of Ford.

"From including same sex couples in benefits packages, to giving hundreds of thousands of dollars to support tolerance, to teaching managers the power of diversity, Ford's enlightened leadership points the way to fostering equality in the workplace and valuing a person for his or her contribution more than sexual preference." said a notice on the group's Web site. "And that really ticks us off."

Ford provides health care benefits for same sex partners of its employees, as does General Motors and Chrysler. When asked why the Association chose Ford, American Family Association special projects director Randy Sharp said, "It was the shortest and easiest to spell. A lot of our members aren't really educated people, if you know what I mean."

Nearly 55,000 people have signed a pledge supporting the boycott. Asked why he signed the petition, Buford Cady of Jonesboro Arkansas said, "To git one a them Calvin pissing on a Ford sign stickers they's a givin' out. Gonna put that right on ma pickup truck."

The boycott was called by the AFA, which a week before called off a nine-year boycott of Walt Disney Company, which it had originally declared on the same grounds. Asked why the Disney boycott was being ended, Sharp said, "We feel after nine years of boycotting Disney we have made our point."

When told that during the nine years of the Disney boycott the company's stock price went from $18.67 to $27.66 a share, Sharp responded, "See? See? That's what I'm talking about. We took them on! We showed them. Wait. Did you say from 18 to 27? Oh. That's a good thing isn't it? Let me get back to you."

Later the AFA office issued a statement that said problems that the group has with Disney have become "lost among the other battles being fought on a crowded cultural battlefield."

Asked for clarification the person answering the phones at AFA headquarters said, " We just got tired of our kids screaming at us because we wouldn't take them to Disney World."