Thursday, February 10, 2005

These Legislators "Crack" Me Up

Attention Terrorists. If you plan on attacking Virginia, make sure you are appropriately dressed. That's the message Virginia lawmakers want you to take away from this bill which, as you might imagine for a state whose motto is "Virginia. No Butts About It," passed the House 60 to 34.

Algie T Howell Jr. who sponsored the Bill as a way to get back at society for the teasing he took in school because his name was Algie had this to say:

It's not an attack on baggy pants. To vote for this bill would be a vote for character, to uplift your community and to do something good not only for the state of Virginia, but for this entire country.

"Uplift." Get it? That whacky Algie. What a card. We're not sure why the entire country would benefit from this law, unless Virginians have particularly bad taste in underwear, or ugly butts. Perhaps one of Mr. Howell Jr.'s constituents in the audience can query the legislator on that issue.

The article goes on to wonder if the law would apply to plumbers, carpenters and other laborers who "have problems with low riding pants." A fair concern we believe. After all, we can't have the construction industry grinding to a halt because the Bubbas are all down at the courthouse contesting their tickets. "But yer honor, ma tool belt's a might heavy and I lost sum weight recently, since ma wif runned off ta Utah with Parson Billy Bob."

Still, John Reid, a supporter of Mr. Howell Jr.'s--or maybe we should say someone who agrees with Mr. Howell Jr. instead of "supporter" in the interests of clarity and all. Mr. Reid observed that, "Underwear is called underwear for a reason — because it is normally worn under your clothes." Obviously never been to a Madonna concert.

No comments: