Monday, February 14, 2005

And Quit Making Them There Free Holies Too


We generally don't like to get too close to the judicial system here at IM Central. Too many bad memories, (some of which may still be on the books) but when we saw the headline that read Judge Tells Moms To Learn English, our interest was piqued.

What first drew our interest was the byline: Lebanon, Tennessee. Having traveled extensively in the south, we are aware that, in the first place, they don't speak English in Tennessee. We were once in a grocery store down there and, upon completing our purchase were asked if we "wanted a poke."

You can imagine what ran through our minds. Well, maybe you can't, so we'll tell you. We weren't sure if we were being challenged to a fight, or asked to engage in something kinky.

It turns out a poke is a bag, so you can see our point about English. But back to the story. It turns out Wilson County Judge Barry Tatum has been ordering Mexican immigrant women to learn English, or risk losing their children to protective services. Apparently only English speakers make good mothers. The article says:

"The court specially informs the mother that if she does not make the effort to learn English, she is running the risk of losing any connection — legally, morally and physically — with her daughter forever,"

Fathers, it seems, can speak any language they want. The judge says he does it to help mothers "assimilate" into society. Obviously, if you want to keep your child in his jurisdiction, resistance is futile. And the rest of the collective agrees. Bob Bright (Yeah. we know, but we don't go for the easy joke around here) Bob Bright, who owns a local insurance agency said, "If I were in Mexico, I'd learn to speak Hispanic."

Bob, we're talking about the mothers here. If you were in Mexico, you'd have to learn to speak Herspanic.

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