Motorcycling Tip: In Montana Elk Have The Right Of Way

Annnnnnd we're back. Oh, like you even noticed we were gone. "But Ironicus," you protest, "we missed our occasional dose of sophomoronic humor with no shred of socially redeeming value." Flattery will get you no where.

It was a fine trip though. A little over 4300 miles through towns with names like Crazy Woman Creek and beers with names like Fat Tire Ale and Moose Drool. By the way, a local inhabitant informed us that the proper name for a moose is swamp donkey. You heard it here first.

Now we're back home and we see that we missed a gathering of our betters over at Mitbot's house of disingenuousness. Let's collect a few of the pearls they dropped on the unwashed, shall we?

A New York City donor a few cars back, who also would not give her name, said Romney needed to do a better job connecting. “We’ve got the message,” she added. “But my college kid, the baby sitters, the nails ladies — everybody who’s got the right to vote — they don’t understand what’s going on. I just think if you’re lower income — one, you’re not as educated, two, they don’t understand how it works, they don’t understand how the systems work, they don’t understand the impact.”

OK, OK. Everybody is dumb but you. Got it. Here is a lady who obviously subscribes to the money equals brains theory. You'd think if she was so smart she'd have figured out the coda to that little theory and that is  everybody doesn't have the right to vote. We do have to give her points for realizing that her own kid, who is apparently also rich, is still stupid, being a kid and all. See, you can be born into money, but the brains part doesn't kick in until you vote for your first republican.

Ted Conklin, who owns the American Hotel in Sag Harbor, told the New York Times that Obama is a “socialist. His idea is find a problem that doesn’t exist and get government to intervene,” Conklin added, his wife, Carol Simmons, nodding beside him in their gold Mercedes.

Well, that's a point Mr. Conklin. We mean, dude owns a hotel that caters to people who don't work anyway, so unemployment? No biggie. Health care? Ever hear of concierge medicine? Gas prices? Please. Smithers keeps the Benz topped off. War? Come on. People who go to Romney fund raisers don't do war. Why, even to suggest such a thing is...unseemly.

Ms. Simmons paused to highlight what she said was her husband’s generous spirit: “Tell them who’s on your yacht this weekend! Tell him!” Over Mr. Conklin’s objections, Ms. Simmons disclosed that a major executive from Miramax, the movie company, was on the 75-foot yacht, because, she said, there were no rooms left at the hotel.

Now there's the American spirit. And did the Miramax executive complain because the yacht was only a 75 footer? Of course not. One does not make light of one's fellows' shortcomings, one accepts their hospitality graciously and without complaint, even if they are beneath one, being a mere Inn keeper as it were.

Romney, for his part, said at the fundraiser that he is focused on everyday voters. “If you are here, by and large, you are doing just fine,” Romney said, according to the Times. “I don’t spend a lot of time worrying about those here. I spend a lot of time worrying about those that are poor and those in the middle class that are finding it hard to make a bright future for themselves.”

Now you're thinking "wait a minute. Didn't Romney just say he didn't care about the poor?"  Well, yeah, but that was in a different context. See with this group when Romney said he was concerned about the poor he meant folks who could only afford 75 foot yachts.

If you were like the lady from New York, you'd have got that.