Wednesday, April 27, 2011

In Which Ironicus Pens a Missive To The President

Dear Mr. President:

We see by the intertoobz today that you have released the long form of your birth certificate. You said you took this step because the controversy surrounding your birth had become a "sideshow" and you wanted to put an end to what amounts to baseless speculation so the country can get back to discussing "serious issues."

Um...would that be the "serious issue" of the fake controversy around the debt ceiling which everyone knows is going to be raised anyway, or the "serious issue" of the deficit which is essentially a discussion of how we have to abandon old people and poor people so we can continue to fight three wars without raising taxes on the rich.

Are those the 'serious issues" you were thinking of Mr. President?

Now, we understand that anyone who rises to the highest political office in the land has to have some talent as a politician, and further, you cut your political teeth in Chicago, a place where the politics are...how to say this politely...somewhat more intense than in other areas, so we can only assume your decision today was the result of falling down the stairs and hitting your head this morning.

See, Mr. President, even Middle Schoolers know the birthers don't really care whether you were born in Hawaii, or Kenya, or on Pluto. They don't like you because you're black, and it doesn't even matter that you're only part back. Any black is too much black for them.

Also, you seem to think that presenting them with the facts of the matter will put an end to their argument. Mr. President, have you not been paying attention at all these last two years? Have you ever heard of Fox News? Here's the first reaction in what will probably be a long, sad trail of similar responses:
If the document proves valid, it could answer the questions raised by those who have alleged he was not actually born in Hawaii. But it also could prove his ineligibility because of its references to his father. Some of the cases challenging Obama have explained that he was a dual citizen through his father at his birth, and they contend the framers of the Constitution excluded dual citizens from qualifying as natural born citizens.
 "If the document proves valid...But..."  You see where this is going Mr. President?

Far be it from us to tell you how to do your job, Mr. President, but if you would indulge us just this once we would like to offer a little piece of advice. When your opponents want to show themselves as the arrogantly ignorant bigots that they are, let them. See people voted for republicans in the last election because they took them at their word that they would try to do something to fix the mess this country has gotten itself into.

A mess, by the way you also said you were going to fix, and well, let's not get into that right now.

Anyway, the republicans presented themselves as rational people with plans and ideas. We all know how that turned out. So by letting republicans continue to be, well, republicans you might get people to come back to democrats and you'll get your majorities back, plus get reelected.

See how that works? Now, we'll leave aside for a moment that choosing between the republican and democratic parties is like choosing between a mud cookie and a tree bark sandwich because we like to think that, unlike your predecessor, you can learn from your mistakes and there may be hope for you yet. Get it? We "hope" you can "change." Just a little humor there to brighten your day.

Sincerely, your friend

Ironicus Maximus

PS: Mr. President? The unemployment rate is 9.2%  and the housing market? Ah, not so good.  Just thought you'd like to know.

1 comment:

Michelle said...

The pears are WARREN BUFFET and RUSH LIMBAUGH!