Friday, April 08, 2011

Friday Hound Blogging

We're coming to you today from the Word A Day Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. WADD is a division of the Thesaurus Was Not A Dinosaur Corporation, a wholly owned subsidy of Syllables R Us, NA

It seems the overlords have learned a new word this week: Decoupling.
New legislation that could shake up Florida's dog racing industry is slowly making its way through the state Senate and House of Representatives. The bill would eliminate current rules that require dog track owners to conduct a minimum number of races a year in order to operate slot machines. The revisions would decouple racing and gambling, allowing the individual track owners the option to stop racing while continuing gambling operations.
Now, you're probably thinking, "Wait a minute Ironicus. You mean the government required the overlords to exploit the units  race the dogs a certain number of times? Why, that's unmitigated government intrusion into the private sector! That's communistic socialism or something. The terrorists are winning! Why isn't Glen Beck all over this?"

Well, you might have a point. Lord knows there's no more freedom loving bunch than the overlords. You gotta figure that being part of a business like this one means free enterprise is in their genetic makeup and all these years of living under the government thumb have been sheer torture for them. We mean, they're always telling us that greyhounds were born to chase a mechanical rabbit around a dirt track at great peril to their own mean born to run, well, the overlords were born to take advantage of that free from the oppressive hand of government on their shoulders. This is truly a day that will go down in overlord history as independence day, right Yvonne Gurbada, the Florida Greyhound Association's treasurer for 22 years?
"These bills are the results of the animal rights groups trying to kill dog racing. Many of the Florida tracks have jumped on the bandwagon with them because they see an opportunity to run poker rooms and slots without having to deal with dog racing," said Gurbada.
Darn straight, Ms. Gurbada. It's what makes America great. The government gets out of your way and unshackles the power of free enter...wait a minute.  You're against this? You want big brother looking over your shoulder with his hand in your pocket? We think you misunderstand the intent of your legislators, Ms. Gurbada.
With emotions running high among animal activists and those who make a livelihood off of racing dogs, a few key points are overlooked.This bill will not end dog racing, it merely gives track owners a choice on whether or not to continue racing without fear of losing more lucrative gambling machines.
See? No one wants to do away with greyhound racing, we just want to set you free to realize its full potential. After all, the dynamic and exciting world of greyhound racing has thrilled tens over the last several years and there's no reason to expect that this minor adjustment in the relationship you have with your local government will lead to anything other than a renaissance for the sport. Why, thinking we want to get rid of greyhound racing is a big over-reaction, Ms. Gurbada.  That's the farthest thing from our thoughts. That...wait a minute...what's this?
A move to permanently end greyhound racing in Iowa was revived today in the state Senate, abruptly halting debate on a gambling bill that was expected to require a report on legalizing Internet poker in Iowa.
Oh. Guess they do want to get rid of greyhound racing all together. OK, our bad. Did you know about this Bill?

Bill is really sweet and loving. He is a quick learner, with plenty of energy. He follows his foster family around the house and LOVES to be with people. Bill likes to find people who will pet him whenever he can. Bill is confident, sweet, playful and cuddly. He wants to be around everyone all the time. Bill is comical when he burps out loud like a person and his tail wags up and down rather than side to side. Bill jumps in the air & does a 360° turn and pounces down on his toys. He is so funny and entertaining. He leaves mismatched slippers all over the house. Bill would do well in a working family home with another dog to keep him company or with a family that is home most of the time if he is the only dog. He is good with well-mannered children, 5 and up. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

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