Friday Hound Blogging

Hey overlords! Did you hear that as part of President Obama's new economic stimulus package all remaining  greyhound exploitation racing tracks are going to be closed and reopened as Water Fun Parks for inner city youth? Don't worry though, you'll still have a job. Course it will be dressing up as Wally Whale or Sammy Shark and letting the kids throw water balloons at you, but so what? It's not like you'll break any bones or anything. Also, Too, Tips! You should report to the track in the next week or so to be measured for your costume. Our advice? Go with Wally Whale. Sammy's fin makes it really hard to get through doors and stuff.

Ha ha. April Fool. Had you going for a minute there didn't we? You were thinking "Holy crap, I'm gonna have to work for a living!" Well, that part may not be a joke.

State law allows the Daytona club and the state's 12 other dog tracks to have card rooms and casinos only if the club offers a certain number of live dog races throughout the year. The Legislature may end that requirement, though, in a move that has aligned dog-track owners with animal-protection activists — groups usually at odds. Track owners want to scale back races if they're not profitable, and animal groups support the change on humanitarian grounds.

 Whoa. Track owners are like the overlord's land lords, you know? And when the fellow you're paying rent to doesn't even want you around anymore, well that's gotta hurt, yo?

The Daytona Beach Kennel Club and Poker Room runs hundreds of greyhound races a year, even during slow periods for tourism.

"...even during slow periods for tourism." Hahahahahaha! That's pretty funny Todd Byers, who owns a kennel in Daytona Beach. Like tourists come to Florida for greyhound racing!

"Hey, we had a tourist once," Byers replied. OK, so it was a guy with senile dementia who got in his car in Georgia to go to the store and ended up here, but he was from out of state so that counts. He didn't bet though. In fact he left when we told him we didn't have a frozen foods section."

Tax revenue from dog tracks has plummeted by more than 96 percent since 1990, when the state collected more than $75 million. Last year, the state collected less than $2.7 million. Legislators said a change in the law might prompt six or seven tracks to eliminate dog racing, costing the state about $1.4 million a year.

OK, here's our question: If you're passing a decoupling law because you want to "eliminate dog racing," why not just pass a law that eliminates dog racing? It's like cause and effect stuff, you know? Ask the people in Massachusetts.

Patrick Biddix, managing partner of Melbourne Greyhound Park and Club 52 poker room, said his property would drop live racing.

 Dang. Hope there's a Walmart nearby that's hiring.

Dog trainers are those most opposed to decoupling. A total of 3,000 jobs related to dog racing are at stake, said Joe Trudden, a Miami dog trainer. He said he arrived at that figure by adding the average number of trainers, greyhound-farm workers and track staff members that handle the dogs.

Woo hoo! Econometrics, man! Take the number of part time, low wage, no benefit jobs, divide by the number of people on food stamps, multiply the  answer by six because, why not? Then take that number, set it aside and make something up. Yay Science! Don't you wish you'd gone to school Gable?

Gable Tombstone is a very lovely boy and “velcro dog” who loves to go where his people go. He is a fun loving, confident dog who loves playing with toys and tossing them in the air. He has one ear that goes up and one that goes back and his teeth chatter like crazy when he gets excited. He is very curious of birds, squirrels and just about everything else!   “Gabe” would do well in a working family home with well-mannered children 8 and up. He is good with other dogs and would probably be fine as an only dog. Gabe needs assertive and attentive family members who will be leaders and let him know what the rules of the house are.  For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.