Friday, March 28, 2008

Friday Hound Blogging

We admit to taking certain liberties in our descriptions of the relative intelligence of the overlords. There have been times, we are sure, when we characterized them in unflattering ways. Perhaps our view has been colored somewhat bythe fact that they leech a living by exploiting innocent animals, then either dump them on people silly enough to believe the dogs have intrinsic value and thus a right to be alive, sell them for research, or kill them outright when they're no longer profitable.

However, Ironicus Maximus is nothing if not fair and balanced, so when we're wrong, we're the first to admit it. OK, maybe not the first, but somewhere in the top 25 at least. And did we say wrong? Well, not so much wrong as maybe a trifle quick to set our priorities. See, while anyone with an IQ above that of smog can plainly see the overlords as a group would embarrass rocks by being called dumb as a box of, we have to report that we've stumbled upon a class of individuals who, for all intents and purposes are even dumber than the overlords:

Florida Legislators

A measure pending in the Republican-led state House would give new tax breaks to wealthy racetrack owners and could lead to off-track betting parlors. Alert readers will no doubt be shocked by the juxtaposition of wealthy and track owner in the previous sentence. It turns out that track owners are the overlords' Overlords. Not only do owners suck money out of the exploitation of the dogs, they also suck money out of the overlords for the privilege of being soulless enough to think that profiting from another living being's suffering is a career choice.

See why whenever we compare the overlords to the proverbial box of rocks we get letters from irate box of rocks fans? But back to our story:

Representative Richard Machek, D-umb, and senator Dave Aronberg, D-umber, filed the bill to help Palm Beach Kennel Club owner Pat Rooney — whose dog track is struggling to attract an audience outside of its core group of people who need help getting their shoes on the right feet. "Look, you think I want a guy with a third grade education and anger issues wandering around with nothing to do?" asked Machek. "If it costs us a few bucks to keep him busy, that's fine by me."

Aronberg said the measure's original intent — before House leaders added provisions to it — was to have "a bill that no one would really notice that much, but would poor more money down the rat hole of a dying industry."

That all changed in committee; representative Ron Reagan, R-ube, the council's chairman, amended the bill to expand the tax breaks and a Miami legislator filed an amendment that could open the door to off-track betting parlors. Representative Carlos Lopez Cantera, R-etard, said he offered the change at a lobbyist's urging but conceded he might not have understood its ramifications. "Sometimes I get confused by big words," he said.

The bill "spun out of control," said Rep. Jack Seiler, of Fort Lauderdale. Seiler questioned any new tax breaks in a year when the state faces about $3 billion in budget cuts —including a potential $1.5 billion hit to public schools — and many programs, especially to help the state's sickest residents and the poor, will face drastic cuts or elimination. "I'm OK with that." Rooney said. "Oh, like sick people and kids vote," added Aronberg.

Brian Ballard, a lobbyist for Rooney said that with a tax break and authorization to set up another card room, "we'll ultimately be able to provide the state with more money. Of course it will never come close to what they're providing to us, but hey if the bozos in Tallahassee are dumb enough to go for it, fine by me."

It's truly amazing what happens when great minds get together huh Alfreda? And then there's Florida.

Alfreda is very playful and up beat. She has a high energy level and she loves to play with the other dogs in the prison program. She also loves to play with a basketball or soccer ball and plays fetch with a towel. She takes a little time to warm up to new people. She is affectionate. She will rest her head in your lap and gives occasional kisses. She likes to be near you, but is okay being in a different area of the house. She will play with toys by herself – throwing them in the air and pouncing on them. She is a Second Chance at Life Dog from the Coldwater Prison Program. Alfreda would do well in a working family home with well-mannered children, 7 and up. She is good with other dogs and would probably be fine as an only dog. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

And if you 'd like to know more about the good work the Second Chance for Life program is doing for the dogs, and the prisoners, go here.

Update: edited for clarity. Yeah, like you care.

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