OK, We Give Up. Are We Dead Or Not?

Having crawled out from under our beds this morning expecting to see the smoking ruins of what was once our happy little suburb, we were pleased to notice that life proceeds apace all around us.

Well, as pleased as we can be considering it's a Monday and we don't work at a place patriotic enough to give us President's Day off so we can go buy a couch or something.

Relieved, but somewhat confused because we were promised Armageddon at the hands of the treasonous democrats who refused to protect the telecoms, we turned to the Heritage Foundation, who had been considerate enough to put a doomsday clock on their site letting all Americans know when the terrorists were going to swarm over the country, steal our women and end NASCAR forever.

Strangely, the clock read that 13 hours and change had expired since the democrats killed democracy. Now, as dispiriting as this may be, we are not totally frozen by the shadow of impending doom that skulks toward us, and subsequently have not lost all our faculties, so we have to point out that it is now 1:37 p.m. EST Monday, February 18, 2008. The FISA bill expired at midnight Friday, or approximately 60 some hours ago.

We are truly in a quandary. What could this mean? Is there some meaning to this time? It is, after all 13, a well known unlucky number. Is it a message? Perhaps the terrorists have already taken over the Heritage Foundation and this is some sort of cry for help. Maybe the guy who programs in javascript came to work drunk again.

And get this: The president is out of the country. Coincidence? We think not. If you need us, we'll be down in the basement under the workbench. Oh, and if you see the web guy for the Heritage foundation, you might want to tell him about this site.