Gloxor, Is There Still Time To Kidnap The Black One?

Somewhere in Galaxy X the Giant Crab Monsters are crying. Well, we're not exactly sure Giant Crab monsters cry, and come to think of it, crying is probably a pretty inappropriate thing for any monster to do, but in any event, we're convinced that if it is possible for Giant Crab Monsters to show sadness, they're showing it today, because their evil plan to take over the world has failed.

Mitt The Galaxy Xian Candidate has quit the race for president.

And why, you cry out. Why? Why? OK, maybe you don't "cry out." Maybe you whimper a little, or maybe you say "What's for dinner?" But in any case, there must be a reason. Was it because Mitt had both positions on every issue? Was it because of his unique position on animal control? His Moronism...er...Mormanism? Or was it just because no one voted for him? Tell us, Mr. Romney. Tell us why your sons will have to work for a living now.

"If I fight on in my campaign, all the way to the convention, I would forestall the launch of a national campaign and make it more likely that Senator Clinton or Obama would win. And in this time of war, I simply cannot let my campaign, be a part of aiding a surrender to terror."

Oh yes! We see! we see! If you keep campaigning the terrorists win! It's so simple, so clear to us now. Just like Satan's little brother did, you are sacrificing yourself for us! Top that Huckabeez!!

But surely, just as Jesus had his moment of doubt in the Garden, this must have been a difficult decision for you.

"This is not an easy decision for me. I hate to lose. My family, my friends and our supporters ... many of you right here in this room ... have given a great deal to get me where I have a shot at becoming president. If this were only about me, I would go on. But I entered this race because I love America," Romney said.

Oh sob! You break our hearts. And also make us wonder how your head doesn't explode. Now we learn what a patriot you are. Now that it is too late and we have lost you to the ages, or more likely the speaking circuit and wingnut welfare, but why quibble at a time of national sorrow and loss?

"As of today, more than 4 million people have given one of my personalities their vote for president, that's of course, less than Senator moccasin's 4.7 million, but quite a statement nonetheless.

Excuse us, senator moccasin? Hmmm...with support like that, maybe he's better off on his own.