Thursday, February 14, 2008

And Don't You Go All Lysistrata On Me Either

We're coming to you today from the Give Them An Inch And They'll Take A Mile department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. GTaIaTTaM is a wholly owned subsidy of the Don't You Get Fresh With Me Little Missy Corporation in partnership with 1 Timothy 2:12. See, there's a problem in this country and it all comes back to the fact that the women folk have been getting way too uppity since we gave them the vote (which we were against by the way, but since we hadn't been born yet, and neither had our mother, our concerns never got a fair hearing). Anyway, here in the belch, scratch and fart room of IM World headquarters, we are happy to see that someone has finally laid down the law.

Kansas activities officials are investigating a school's refusal to let a female referee call a boys' high school basketball game. The reason given, according to the referees: as a woman, she could not be put in a position of authority over boys because of the academy's beliefs.

Yeah, baby! How you like us now Gloria Steinem? In your face Betty Friedan!

Michelle Campbell was preparing to officiate at St. Mary's Academy near Topeka when a school official insisted that Campbell could not call the game. "I noticed her running down the court," said the official, who declined to give his name. "And, well, things Look, our kids are repressed enough as it is. They don't need that."

The Kansas State High School Activities Association said it is considering whether to take action against the private religious school. St. Mary's Academy, about 25 miles northwest of Topeka, is owned and operated by the Society of St. Pius X, which follows only those Roman Catholic laws which embarrass the mainstream church and everyone in the Vatican wants to forget. One Association official close to the investigation indicated the school would probably not face sanctions. "These guys probably have enough trouble getting through the day," he told reporters. "Can you imagine what would happen if they got stopped by a woman cop? Can you say TASER?"

The society's world leader, the late Archbishop Marcel Lefebvre, was excommunicated by Pope John Paul II in the late 1980s. "Yeah, well just because he was crazy doesn't mean he was wrong," said a school spokesman.

Gary Musselman, the association's executive director said he said he sent a letter to the school's principal, Vicente A. Griego, the day of the incident but has not heard back from him. "I'm going to have to call him because I had my secretary type the letter and I just found out he's not allowed to read stuff written by women."

"This issue was going to come up eventually," said Campbell. "Actually it was inevitable once we began to close the community mental health clinics."


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