Look Kid, The Rest Of Us Don't Have Any Rights Either. Just Ask Cheney

Kids are so uppity these days. It's like they think they have the same rights as illegal immigrants or something. Permissive parents, we guess. Well, leave it to the Supremes to put the smackdown on that sad parade of scrawny behinds.

A high school student who was suspended for unfurling a banner saying "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" did not have his rights violated, a divided Supreme Court ruled. "He's a high school kid, said Justice Scalia. "He doesn't have rights in the first place."

The high court's conservative majority ruled that a high school principal in Juneau Alaska did not violate the student's constitutional free-speech rights by confiscating the banner and then suspending him. "This is a great validation of our policy of STFU when it comes to dealing with student speech," said principal Deborah Morse. "Hope you're paying attention Mr. incoming student council president."

School officials say the phrase "bong hits" refers to smoking marijuana. Morse suspended the student, Joseph Frederick for 10 days because she said the banner advocated or promoted illegal drug use in violation of school policy. When asked why she knew so much about smoking marijuana, Morse replied that she had a friend who used marijuana for "medical reasons" and she visited him frequently to check on his condition.

Frederick, 18, had been standing on a public sidewalk across the street from the school when Morse grabbed his banner and crumpled it. "She asked me what I thought I was doing," he said. "I said being a high school kid."

The majority opinion written by Chief Justice John Roberts said the court agreed with Morse that those who viewed the banner would interpret it as advocating or promoting illegal drug use, in violation of school policy. "Now if it had said something like "Kill Osama 4 Jesus, we could have gotten behind that," Roberts said.

Liberal Justices John Paul Stevens, David Souter and Ruth Bader Ginsberg dissented on the constitutional issue writing, "and we wonder why the kids hate us."

Later, principal Morse agreed with Justice Roberts saying she "probably would have allowed" the Kill Osama 4 Jesus banner. "This is America after all," she said.