Thursday, December 28, 2006

Hounds Home For The Holiday

Uh oh. Looks like the overlords in Brough Park have stepped in it this time. Where's Tony Soprano when you need him.

Crime kingpin Grant McIntosh threatened to torch a dog track after being chucked out. The Paisley gangster waved a broken champagne bottle at stewards after his greyhound came last in a race.

OK, first of all, what 1940's Humphrey Bogart film did this reporter just see? "Crime kingpin?" And we really hope "Paisley" is a town or something because if it has to do with what he was wearing...well...it just takes away from the whole gangster thing to be dressed up like a Ravi Shankar nightmare.

Millionaire McIntosh, known as Mr P because of his grip on his home town, was ejected from Newcastle's Brough Park last Tuesday night. The 45-year-old, who served time for drugs and violence, screamed at staff: "Do you know who I am? I'll burn this f****** place to the ground."

OK, we see the problem. This guy has too many goofy nicknames and not enough that got all the street cred if you get what we're saying. We mean, how frightened can you be of "Mr. P?" And what's with saying he'll burn down the track? Shouldn't his homies be doing stuff like that for him? He does have homies, doesn't he?

Track owners William Hill confirmed McIntosh had been thrown out. But a spokesman added: "He is welcome back because basically he's the only one that comes out here any more."

Yeah, well if you're running around in paisley trying to get all gangstery on the citizens who call you Mr. P, probably watching your dog come in last isn't the worst part of your day, huh Okie?

Okie is very resourceful, sweet, and quiet. He is shy until he gets to know you, but after he does, he will relax and enjoys cuddling. He is very active and playful when he is outside, but is very quiet when inside. As his name suggests, he has ½ a tail. Okie is a Second Chance at Life Dog from the Coldwater Prison Program. Okie needs a quiet home with well-mannered children 12 and up. He would be good in a working family home. He is good with other dogs, and would probably be happiest with another more confident dog in the home. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

3 comments:

Mr P said...

Dear writer,

A few points about your recent article....

Firstly I never had a dog running in Newcastle at Brough Park. I didn’t have a broken champagne bottle my homies were 2 busy drinking it. As for commenting on my attire what would you wear at a dog track??? Incidentally did you read the article the following week in a national newspaper where I received an apology from the track?

Anyway thanks for your comments as they were very amusing but I can assure you my behavior that night was impeccable

Yours sincerely Grant Mackintosh

Anonymous said...

Dear Writer, and also Mr McIntosh,

I'd like to point out that i was one of the door team that ejected you from the track, and if you remember the reason why, then it's no big deal.

Simply put, Mr McIntosh had taken his glass from the inside bar area to the outside area trackside. No big deal. My colleague asked him to take it back inside but Mr McIntosh became aggressive towards the doorman and threatened him. The doorman grappled Mr McIntosh to the ground and held him there. He then told that he'd be let up as long as he was gonna leave the stadium of his own accord. Mr McIntosh agreed. However, when he stood up he tried to punch my colleague, who then retaliated and put a choke hold on. An unconscious Mr McIntosh was then carried out by myself and my colleague to the car park. As Mr McIntosh came around he became abusive again, to which i told him to grow up and walk away before it became phsyical. Threats were then made and he toddled off to wherever.

I'd like to finish by saying the Mr McIntosh may have a reputation, but by himself he was just another patron, and not even a handy one at that. Goes to show what Chinese whispers can bring. He may be the big boy up Paisley, but most of the 'names' in Newcastle had never heard of him.

Regards,
Anonymous Doorman

Anonymous said...

HA HA HA I am from Paisley and I find this article hilarious. Mr P is in fact past it, up here in the town of Paisley he seems to think he is still a young ned, terrorising locals with his Mr P reputation.

Who would really want to be:

OLD
FAT
GINGER
DRUG ADDICT
NO PALS
WHINGER ?