Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Yo Quiero Crazy Beef

In the Nothing's Too Good For American Refugees Department we learn that food donated by other governments to help victims of Katrina and Rita is being dumped on third world countries.

The United States offered countries that aren't concerned about the health of their citizens more than 330,000 packaged meals donated by Britain to feed Hurricane Katrina victims but rejected due to a U.S. ban on British beef. State Department spokesman Adam Ereli said, "We certainly accepted these MREs in the spirit of friendship and charity, but since we think British beef will turn your brain to mush we don't want any part of it."

After Katrina struck there was a need for about 500,000 readily packaged meals and the State Department asked its embassies worldwide to seek food donations. Britain was among the first countries to offer MREs. "We know the Brits have been looking for a way to get rid of their crazy beef," Ereli explained, "I guess they figured that since most of the people that needed to be fed were poor and black we wouldn't notice."

An additional 33,000 MREs from Germany, Russia, Spain and France had also not been distributed to hurricane victims because of U.S. legal restrictions. "Well, they just went and donated the food," said Ereli. "We only use food that companies can bill FEMA outrageous amounts for."

"We obviously want to find populations of poor and or brown people and unload these supplies on them as soon as possible, so if your country doesn't have import restrictions on tainted beef we want to talk to you. We're eager to move this stuff," said Ereli. Asked if he knew what the expiration dates were on the food packages were he replied, "No. Is that important?"

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