Monday, October 03, 2005

Hey. It's Not Like She'll Have To Manage A Hurricane Or Anything

But first, a word from that other bright spot in George Bush's administration, Iraq, brought to you by the George Orwell Memorial Don't Look Over There Just Listen Photo Of The Day:

Keeping up with his long standing tradition of finding the most unlikely, unqualified, inexperienced applicant for important administrative positions, president Bush has nominated Harriet Miers to replace Judge Sandra Day O'Conner on the Supreme Court.

Apparently Ms. Miers' primary classification is that she thinks George Bush is most brilliant man she ever met. OK, we'll give her the benefit of the doubt and just assume she doesn't get out much, but does she have a TV? Does she read the paper at all? Has she ever seen The Jerry Springer Show? Surely somewhere she has run across a specimen of masculinity that carries more intellectual gravitas than the fellow currently taking up space in the White House. Has she ever seen the WWF?

"She has devoted her life to sucking mean the cause of justice," Bush said. "At least I think she has. Harriet, you are at least a lawyer, aren't you?"

Miers traveled to the Capitol to begin courtesy calls on the senators who will vote on her nomination. Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, was first. His welcome was a statement in praise. "With this selection, the president has chosen another sycophant to sit on our nation's highest court," it said. "This nomination ranks right up there with that of Michael Brown, John Bolton and when Shemp joined the three stooges."

Miers told reporters, "If confirmed, I recognize I will have a tremendous responsibility to like, understand the law and stuff and to help insure the court meets their obligations to favor the rich and keep the poor in their place. Do I get a parking pass?"

During Bush's first term as governor of Texas, his Attorney General Alberto Gonzales used information turned up by Miers to persuade a local judge to excuse Bush from jury duty. That would have forced him to disclose his 1976 arrest for drunken driving. "I plan to bring that same level of professionalism to the Court," Miers said.

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