Thursday, October 20, 2005

"I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For"

Sure his polls are in the toilet, his staff is about to be indicted and his war is going nowhere, but this president rocks!

Before getting on stage before his fans, U2 frontman Bono bent President Bush's ear about the world's poor. The rock star and the president had lunch in the private dining room off the Oval Office. "They had a very interesting discussion about world hunger during their lunch of Shrimp Hushpuppies followed by a Classic Caesar Salad and topped off with Fried Green Tomato BLT on seven grain bread, served with applewood smoked bacon and basil aïoli," said White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan.

Bono told Rolling Stone magazine in an interview before they dined that he had no fear of meeting Bush. "Sure, I heard the stories about Abu Grahib and Rumsfeld's 'hobbies' but It would look funny if I didn't show up for the concert tonight."

Bono told the magazine, "I'm representing the poorest and the most vulnerable people. On a spiritual level, I have that with me. I'm throwing a punch, and the fist belongs to people who can't be in the room, whose rage, whose anger, whose hurt I represent. I'll be doing that right after the Authentic Key Lime Pie with whipped cream, fresh fruit and mango-strawberry coulis is served."

"Bono will not be allowed to punch the president," said a Secret Service spokesperson. "Only Laura can punch the president. Well, sometimes we let Cheney slap him upside the head, but that's just to remind him who's boss."

Over an hour and 40 minute meeting, Bono and Bush discussed debt relief, AIDS, malaria and world trade, said McClellan. "The president also wanted to know if Bono saw Cher that much anymore. He's always been a big Cher fan."

Bono said he is "capable of having a row" if he doesn't get what he wants. "I'm a rock star after all." He once criticized Bush for not getting the Millennium Challenge money out quick enough and was rebuked for it. "One senator threw a Bible at me in a meeting. 'How dare you disrespect the president of the United States! He's like a god to us.'" Bono said.

When asked to name the Senator who threw the Bible Bono declined, saying the person was having enough trouble with his reelection campaign in Pennsylvania anyway.

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