Wednesday, April 13, 2005

I'm The New Ambassador, Bi Otch.

We started this blog to, how shall we say, dig out and expose the more egregious examples of that chasm between faith based reality and reality based reality, but sometimes they're laying right there on the sidewalk in front of us like worms after a rainstorm.

Take John Bolton for example. Here's a guy who has had nothing but bad things to say about the UN ever since he learned to talk. He is on record as calling the UN "irrelevant and irredeemable, and a big bunch of stupid foreigners who dress funny and have bad breath (especially you Sabliere)."

So what does Dear Leader (no light weight himself when it comes to alternative realities) do? Appoint this man to be Ambassador to the UN. Mr. President, dude. You make this too easy.

Our impression (foggy though it may be) is that the UN is a place where adults come to talk about the problems of the world and hopefully avoid unpleasant things like famine, pestilence and war as a result. Our ambassador designate seems to have a particularly idiosyncratic idea of what discussion is though.

In preparation for Bolton's confirmation hearings, the Senate committee interviewed current and former intelligence officials about stories that Bolton tried to pressure analysts to change their findings in support of his ideas.

For example, Christian Westermann, the chief bioweapons analyst at the State Department's bureau for intelligence and research, refused to approve the language for a speech Bolton wanted to give about Cuba and recommended changes. Bolton tried to have him fired.

"Bolton told me if I didn't get my mind right with his Cuba policy something would happen to my family," said Westermann.

"That's not true," Bolton countered. "Actually, I tried to have the pencil necked geek whacked, but the funds in my discretionary budget were low, so I dropped back to ruining his career."

Former State Department Intelligence Chief Carl Ford said Bolton was out of line. Eventually, Bolton was ordered to change his speech and Secretary of State Colin L. Powell commended Westermann. "Yeah. I haven't forgotten that either," Bolton said, looking straight at Westermann.

Senator Joe Biden told the committee. "This is not an isolated incident. We have testimony from a total of four other people" relating to several incidents. One alleges Bolton kidnapped the puppy of one of his researcher's four year old daughter and threatened to "throw it off a bridge" if the researcher didn't change his analysis to conform to Bolton's theory that the North Koreans were negotiating for technology with alien races.

Senator Richard Lugar, chairman of the foreign relations panel, and Bolton supporter said yesterday that he did not want to excuse Bolton's "demeanor" but that the "the paramount issue, as I perceive it, is that we don't give a good crap about the UN anyway, so why not just send somebody over there that's going to tick 'em off?"

At that point several of the President's aides who were observing the hearing jumped up and started chanting USA! USA! USA!

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