Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Ain't That America

Ok we need to get this straight. Tom DeLay and John Cornyn can threaten judges in the national media and the police don't even look up from their donuts, but when a high school student passes a "suspicious" list around school he gets arrested.

Speaking about the numerous court decisions upholding the wishes of Terri Schiavo that she not be kept alive by medical procedures, DeLay said, "The time will come for the men responsible for this to answer for their behavior."

Echoing the comments of his Fuhrer, Cornyn said, "We seem to have run through a spate of courthouse violence recently and I wonder whether there may be some connection between the perception where judges are making political decisions yet are unaccountable to the public, that it builds up and builds up and builds up to the point where some people engage in violence."

Police who arrested the high school student said, "There is no threat to the safety of students at the school, but what the heck, he's a kind of a dorky kid anyway."

At a news conference announcing the arrest of the high school student, police were asked if they thought DeLay's and Cornyn's comments were illegal under section 802 of the Patriot Act which enables law enforcement officials to move against those who try to "…influence a policy of the government by intimidation or coercion."

"Oh, right. Like we're going to try and arrest Tom DeLay," Chief Pompetous replied. "You need to get with the program. The Patriot Act is for people out of power. Now get out of here and go back to reporting on Michael Jackson before I have your library records subpoenaed."

As reporters scurried hurriedly from the room, one of the Chief's aides whispered something in his ear and as he was leaving the stage he was overheard saying, "You mean I don't even need a court order? I can just walk in and get their records? Is this a cool country or what?"

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