Monday, January 24, 2005

Oh. I Thought You Meant Did I Want An Aide

January 24
Ok, we had to figure that since the president got reelected (with a mandate no less) he would be able to get his kids a job--even with the nakedidity thing going on. OK, so the twins didn't really show up for the inaugural balls with their chests hanging out after all, but that was a close one. We hear the folks at Badgley Mischka are designing gowns for the Iraqi inauguration balls now. "We're doing some really innovative things with Burkas and Body Armor" the Chief Designer---who didn't want to give his name--said. Anyway, when we wrote about Jello Shot Jenna going to teach at a charter school in Washington we figured that was the end of it, until the inevitable scandal. You know, keggers in detention hall, stuff like that.

Imagine our surprise when we opened the paper and read that Linda Moore, Executive Director of the Elsie Whitlow Stokes Community Freedom Public Charter School and Car Wash said that "Jenna Bush is not employed as a teacher at the school."

See, this is what happens when you fill out job applications while you're high because, come to find out, JSJ is a Teacher's aide at the school. Checked the wrong box we suppose. At least the rumor is that she's a teacher's aide. Ms Moore would neither confirm nor deny that. what is the first chugger doing?

OK. First person to get a photo of Jenna in custodian coveralls, mopping up some vomit can name their price. Especially if the vomit is hers.

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