The Best Education Money Can Buy

January 10


Well, well well, isn't this special. It turns out that "Scientifically proven" methods of educating the young people wasn't enough. Secretary of Education Rod Paige had to rent a pundit to help put the proper emphasis on all the successes schools are having now that they've been blinded by science.

Now there are those who may scoff at Dr. Paige's free market approach to his job, but we think he's just taking a clue from his colleagues in the administration. After all, look at the other results the administration reports: War in Iraq? Going swimmingly. Economy? Gang busters. Environment? Sweet. See, it doesn't matter what's actually happening, as long as you say it's good. Sort of the Dr. Pangloss theory of government. And if you have to throw a few bucks around occasionally to grease the skids, so to speak, well, what's the big deal?

Dr. Paige's only problem was that, unlike his colleague at the Department of Defense, he had only money and not bombs with which to make his case.