Damn Dirty Apes, Part II

January 25
If you don't think it's hard being white, rich and connected in this country, listen to the tales of horror told by some of the recent attendees at the recently concluded "peaceful transfer of power" from George W. Bush to his successor, George W. Bush.

"They need a new law for these protesters: 'You cross the line, you do the time,' " said Kenneth E. Boring, 80, still apparently irritated by the experience as he waited to leave Reagan National Airport. You probably think we're going for the easy joke here, but no, we're better than that. In fact we use this opportunity to point out that all Republican contributors are not hopelessly out of touch with the 21st century by pointing out Mr. Boring's nifty allusion to a Johnny Cash song I Crossed the Line. Or maybe it's a reference to Baretta. Whatever, this guy is with it, you know.

"It's time to put a stop to all this nonsense, protesting and causing confusion," Boring said. Yep. don't need none of that there confusion, you know? Thinking causes that. By the way, Mr. Boring is a "Republican Eagle." That means he gives at least 15K a year to the GOP. And still has to share the same air with those dirty hippies! How much does a man have to spend?

Justin Moidel, 17, who lives in the Pittsburgh area, attended the swearing-in with friends. "I liked being part of history, and the passage of power," said Moidel, who said he considers himself a conservative Democrat. "But the long lines and being protested against. . . . There was one lady who yelled at me, 'Are you prepared to die?' I guess she thinks Bush is an aggressive leader who will get us into war." You think? Folks, I think we have found the child that has been left behind.